Badpuppy Gay Today

Monday, 05 January 1998

BOND SONGS IN DRAG

The Best and Worst of the Bond Songs

CD Review by George Ferencz, Jr.


 

One thing about James Bond is that he does live twice.

Coinciding with the release of Bond's 20th incarnation - if you count the return of Sean Connery as Bond in Never Say Never Again and David Niven's tongue-in-cheek turn in Casino Royale - comes the Bond tribute CD Shaken And Stirred (Sire/Warner Bros.). This compilation of James Bond songs, arranged by David Arnold, will shock you like grabbing an electrified steel-brimmed bowler, a la Goldfinger.

One enduring legacy of Ian Fleming's suave hero is that his films attract diverse vocal talent. Though you won't find the likes of Nancy Sinatra, Shirley Bassey or Tom Jones on this disk, you will enjoy an eclectic mix of artists--shaken and stirred for your listening pleasure.

Shaken and Stirred tracks the career of 007 from Diamonds Are Forever – the only movie in which Bond chases gay men (jewel thieves) - to Octopussy -- which could have been the title of many a Bond flick. The talent on this 11-track CD races across the musical landscape like a James Bond opening.

Like the Bond films themselves, some songs on Shaken and Stirred are gold (finger!) while others are just duds - like Timothy Dalton.

First the good news, thankfully it's on track 1. David McAlmont's version of "Diamonds Are Forever" is to die for, which is a lot to say for the invincible Bond.

Cross-dressing McAlmont knows a thing or two about diamonds. I'm surprised another drag queen hasn't paraded this diamond in the rough out before. Imagine a cabaret stage,a be-jeweled drag queen in a fur bitching about her unfaithful lover: "I don't need love. For what good will love do me. Diamonds never lie to me, for when love is gone. They luster on …"

If McAlmont's campy song is the Roger Morre of this CD, Iggy Pop's "We Have All the Time in the World" is the Sean Connery. The punk star does this haunting song, originated by Louis Armstrong, with the respect it deserves. It is to this song that Bond says goodbye to his newlywed wife who was killed in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Other acts are more obscure, like Pulp. The stylish British band got its start in the mid-1980s about the time Octopussy was hitting the screen in the last of the Cold War Bond films. The song from that Bond film, "All Time High," is one of the best of the recent Bond songs. But in this version Pulp is more Bowie than Bond, and while that may be OK for fans of the famous singer, it won't work for hardcore Bond fans.

'Til Tuesday's Aimee Mann lulls you into a Bondian love scene with "Nobody Does It Better" from The Spy Who Loved Me. Mann doesn't earn the same rank as original lyricist Carly Simon, but thankfully she doesn't use her musical license to kill Marvin Hamlisch's Oscar-nominated song.

Another '80s phenomenon, Martin Fry of ABC, chimes in with a tribute to all-ages phenomenon Tom Jones with "Thunderball." Sexy. Seductive. Just like the bulging Brit. Fry can't match the Jones original - let's just say Jones has got more range. But to the song's credit, there's a Zeusian thundercrack at the end that is perfectly John Barry, the man who composed many James Bond soundtracks.

Barry's work is well honored by Arnold and his agents. The CD's only instrumental, "Space March" from futuristic Moonraker, is a treasure and evokes the genius of the oft-overshadowed Barry.

If this compilation is any sign of the future, we are returning to the era of listenable music. Now, if we could only get Sean Connery back as Bond …

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