I Want My Gay TV

A good friend of mine - who is also a faithful reader of this column - once suggested that I keep a blog. Though the idea is tempting, my all-too busy schedule keeps me from putting down my thoughts on a daily basis - on paper or on the World Wide Web. And while part of me is egotistical enough to think that the entire world is clamoring for my opinions, their constant exposure will only make them trite. Even a Rex Wockner or an Andrew Sullivan - to name two of my favorite blog keepers - know when to shut up. Thus I decided to limit my written comments to this column and its literary twin (“The Book Nook”), along with whatever freelance assignments may come my way.

Like many of you, I spent the last few months dealing with hurricanes. In a previous column, I wrote about Hurricane Katrina’s impact on New Orleans’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community. I did not mention that Katrina visited my South Florida home (in a less violent phase) on her way to the Gulf of Mexico, knocking the power out of many South Floridian homes (mine included). Thus, when Hurricane Wilma set her sights on South Florida last month, my partner Michael and I were ready. We left town, staying for a while with some friends near Jacksonville, and thus missed the worst of Wilma and her aftermath. And while we now have our power back, the fallen trees in front of my window remind me of Wilma’s destruction. Wilma has left her mark on South Florida; and those of us who live here will have to deal with it for some time to come.

But life must go on. With gas prices being what they are, even before the hurricanes, I resolved to stay home more often. Though I tried to devote that extra time to literary pursuits; television and the Internet (along with writer’s block) conspired to keep me from writing anything substantial. It doesn’t help that I have one of those cable systems which provide me with over 500 channels; not to mention an “On Demand” pay-per-view service and a variety of music outlets. Among those offerings are two new, GLBT programming services: Logo, a cable network, and here!, a pay-per-view service.

Before Logo and here! came along, People of the Rainbow had to make do with GLBT or GLBT-friendly programs on “mainstream” networks: “In the Life,” “Will and Grace,” “Queer As Folk,” “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” “The L Word,” “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” and “Desperate Housewives” (a “gay show,” in spite of its subject matter), just to name a few. With Logo and here!, those of us who want our gay TV can have it 24/7. Of course, there is only so much queer programming available, which means that Logo devotes much of its day to repeat performances of the likes of “The Birdcage” or “Moulin Rouge” (a non-gay, gay movie). Even worse, as a cable network available to children and other innocent bystanders, Logo must censor out its programs’ nudity and language, which is okay is you want to see Mario Cantone or Alec Mapa getting beeped all the time.

This does not mean that Logo is not worth watching, of course. Its documentaries showcase the LesBiGay and Trans community in all of its diversity, with queer hip-hop artists and rodeo riders sharing air time with monogamous couples with kids. I personally got hooked on“Noah’s Arc,” an original comedy series about four young, black gay men in West Hollywood. Previous to “Noah’s Arc,” black gay men only appeared as walk-ons; or as the boyfriend of the white lead character (as in “Six Feet Under”). In “Noah’s Arc,” we see black gay men leading productive lives, including sex and romance, without a white man in sight. And while Noah and his friends are so flaming that they ought to wear asbestos, their adventures are as delightfully gay (in both senses of the word) as anything you might find on the telly this side of Graham Norton - who is also on Logo.

Since Michael and I already pay a hefty fee for our cable service, we are more particular about here!, the GLBT pay-per-view service. Of course, as a premium offering, here! can go beyond Logo in terms of language, nudity and sex. Thus far, we have watched two here! features: “Third Man Out” and the first chapter of “Dante’s Cove.” “Third Man Out,” based on a Donald Strachey mystery by Richard Stevenson, stars the openly gay (and cute) Chad Allen as the openly gay detective. If “Third Man Out” is any indication, future programs will be worth watching. On the other hand, “Dante’s Cove,” a cross between “Dark Shadows” and “Queer As Folk,” suffers from a horrible plot and worse acting. But the cast is cute, there are some hot soft core, gay love scenes, and the soap opera-cheesy plot might bring us back for more.

All in all, in spite of their shortcomings, here! and Logo are everything that we hoped and that our enemies feared. So whatever your tastes might be, there is something to satisfy them here! or there. If nothing else, it proves that LesBiGay and Trans people are as sought after by advertisers as anyone else. And if your cable provider does not provide you with here! or Logo, well, you know what to do. It’s something to keep you busy until the next hurricane comes along.