“Virginia Hams”

Recently the General Laws Committee of the Virginia Senate voted unanimously to make the Virginia big-eared bat that state’s official state bat. Though Virginia already has 16 official emblems - including the state bird (cardinal), the state fish (brook trout), the state fossil (Chesapecten jeffersonius) and the state beverage (milk) - this is the first time it ever considered honoring a bat. Delegate Jackie T. Stump (Democrat-Buchanan), who proposed the bill, praised the big-eared bat for its uncanny ability to “devour 600 mosquitoes per hour, helping prevent the spread of West Nile Virus.”

No doubt this is a good time for the Commonwealth of Virginia to honor the big-eared bat, since lately that state’s legislature has been acting increasingly batty. In spite of its proximity to Washington, D.C., Virginia is one of the reddest of states. It hasn’t gone Democrat in a presidential election since 1964. Its state Senate has 24 Republicans and 16 Democrats; and its House of Delegates has 60 Republicans, 37 Democrats, and 2 Independents. But partisanship is not as important in Virginia - Governor Mark R. Warner is a Democrat - as ideology, which in the Old Dominion is decidedly right-wing. No doubt the presence of Reverends Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson in the State has something to do with it, along with the number of military facilities there. Whatever it is, there is enough going on to make those Old Virginians Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, fathers of American liberalism and the Democratic Party, roll in their respective graves.

Last year the Virginia State Assembly passed the Marriage Affirmation Act, a measure that goes beyond banning “gay marriage” to outlawing other legal agreements between persons of the same sex. This year the Assembly went one big step further, voting overwhelmingly - 30-10 in the Senate and 78-18 in the House - to amend the state constitution to define marriage as a “union between one man and one woman.” According to Virginia law, this proposed amendment will have to be voted on again next year and then approved by the voters. Virginia’s vote is part of a nationwide trend to constitutionally outlaw “gay marriage” and thus is not unique to that state. However, in other matters, the Virginia State Assembly has gone beyond the normal parameters of American conservatism into the truly scary.

The Marriage Affirmation Act was just one of several measures that moved the Washington Blade to call the Mother of Presidents the “most anti-gay state” in the Union. An adoption bill passed by the House would ask would-be parents if they “engage in current voluntary homosexual activity” or are “unmarried and cohabiting with another adult to whom he is not related by blood or marriage.” The measure passed the House and has been referred to a Senate committee. Another House bill, which would have banned “gay/straight alliances” in public schools, was “modified” to give such authority to individual school boards. Del. Scott Lingamfelter (R.-Prince William), moved by the anti-same-sex marriage frenzy, even proposed that Virginia issue license plates that would promote “traditional marriage.” Lingamfelter has since withdrawn his measure, noting that the proposed constitutional amendment would accomplish the same goal (and license plates are expensive).

The Virginia State Assembly seems to have a lot of time on its hands. It’s propensity for passing repressive and/or ridiculous laws goes beyond its obvious dislike for GLBT people. Last year it reacted to a TV show about youth nudist camps by banning such camps altogether. This year it is considering a measure that would ban minors from nudist camps and beaches altogether. The same House of Delegates that moved against same-sex marriage also approved - by a 69-27 vote - Del. Charles Carrico’s (R.-Independence) proposal to amend the constitution to allow “the people’s right to pray and to recognize their religious beliefs, heritage, and traditions on public property, including public schools.” “America was founded on Christian beliefs,” Carrico pontificated. “Christianity is the majority faith in this country and yet because the minority has said, ‘I’m offended,’ we are being told to keep silent.” Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, cautioned that Carrico’s “amendment would open a Pandora’s box of religious liberty problems...This scheme destroys many of the constitutional protections that Virginians count on.” I can see the graves spinning in Monticello and in Montpelier.

Meanwhile, the House of Delegates outdid itself when it passed a bill (by a 60-34 vote) that would impose a $50 fine on those who display their underwear in a “lewd or indecent manner.” Having dealt effectively with Virginia’s education, crime, health and environmental problems (or so it seems), the House of Delegates agreed with Del. Algie Howell (D.-Reston) that kids who wear their pants low are a threat to the Commonwealth. The droopy pants bill made Virginia the laughing stock of the nation, and caused such a ruckus that the Senate killed it in committee. “The pants bill is a classic example of the legislative impulse to right every wrong (real or imagined) that comes before the eye,” opined the Hampton Roads, VA, Daily Press. “It is an impulse that should be resisted.”

I think the Virginia legislators have overreached themselves, and they realize it. In addition to dropping the pants bill, the Senate also killed a bill that would have allowed local congregations to secede from a church or diocese while retaining its property, an obvious sop at conservative Episcopal churches who oppose the ordination of Bishop V. Gene Robinson. And I agree with that state’s only openly-gay Delegate, Adam Ebbin (D.-Alexandria), who has “faith that the future offers a more enlightened and just Virginia.” Even so, the fact that Virginia voters allow political extremists to take Richmond does not speak well for the Old Dominion. The home of Jefferson and Madison deserves better.

Jesse Monteagudo is a South Florida-based freelance writer who is appalled by Virginia politics but admires the Commonwealth’s historic and natural wonders. Send your views of the Old Dominion to jessemonteagudo@aol.com.

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