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[Note: All of Joseph Itiel's books are published by Harrington Park Press.]
In an article published in the gay magazine The Guide, Bill Andriette wrote about gay men as sexual adventurers:
"Before the Internet, there were gay men. . . . More than serially-coupled heterosexuals or long-mating lesbians, gay males are the free radicals of social life. Rare is even the 'monogamous' gay relationship not peppered by extramural flings. And if homophillic desire is defined by attraction to the same, on another level, it's characterized by the pursuit of the exotic. . . . For the pioneers of queer, sex and love shared with people from other cultures, ethnicities, classes, and ages freed something in them that helped make them become who they were. . . . Heterosexuality turns out to be often more homogenous the deeper you look into it, while homosexuality, with relationships founded on nothing more than personal magnetics and pleasure, turns out to support a richer internal heterogeneity. Take that queer male lust for variety and throw in the democratization of travel and communications in the late 20th century, and the result is a gay worldwide web of friendship, affection, and sex." Joseph Itiel fits Andriette's description of a gay sexual adventurer and sex tourist. "I started my gay globetrotting in 1956 by embarking on a sexual (and paradoxically, spiritual) odyssey - traveling from Toronto to India," he wrote. "Later, I went on annual sex pilgrimages: From Toronto to Mexico, from San Francisco to Japan and the Philippines. Eventually, I learned to focus less on gay adventures, to downgrade sexual activities and blend them with the rest of my trip. Sometimes, when a gay traveler is open to adventure without being anxious about it, an unexpected bonus may come his way." Itiel's adventures have made him an authority on gay travel, which he displayed in his published guides to the Philippines, Mexico, and Costa Rica. Itiel's latest book, Escapades of a Gay Traveler: Sexual, Cultural, and Spiritual Encounters (242 p.; $19.95), is a spirited memoir of Itiel's travels, sexual and other-wise: "From a very early age, I have had an insatiable curiosity about traveling to other countries, learning new languages, and studying different customs. No doubt my interests were heightened because, also from my childhood on, I was physically attracted to the 'other,' males who were completely different from me ethnically and culturally. Reconciling my intellectual tourist interests with my carnal desires used to cause me a great deal of turmoil. This book is a story of how I have grown to enjoy my anthropological observations blended with my sexual yearnings." In Escapades of a Gay Traveler we follow the author through an eventful life that took him from Israel to Toronto and from Toronto to India, Sri Lanka, Mexico, Japan, the Philippines . . . and San Francisco, where he now lives. Those of us who think that there's more to travel than sex will find Itiel's Escapades to be rather biased towards the erotic, often at the expense of majestic scenery, historic monuments, world-class museums and other trifle. But at least one happily-married reader found Itiel's sexual adventures intriguing, if a bit one-sided. Needless to say, being a sexual adventurer costs money. In his travels, Joseph Itiel learned the benefits of hiring hustlers or sex workers, a practice he continues till this day. "In retrospect, I feel good about the many thousand dollars I have spent on hustlers. I have derived a great deal of pleasure from being with them," he wrote. "Had it not been for hustlers, my gay life would have been an incessant whine about not having enough good sex. . . . Thanks to hustlers, I have done very well for myself in my sexual pursuits. I salute the many hustlers who have helped make my gay existence a joyful one." Itiel's experience with hustlers - or sex workers, as they are now called - has made him an authority on the matter, and was the basis of two of his recent books. In A Consumer's Guide To Male Hustlers (172 p.; $14.95), we learn everything we wanted to know - but were embarrassed to ask - about "the three categories of hustlers" (the street hustler, the masseur, and the "model" or "escort"): where to find them, how much to pay them, and how to use them. Itiel idealizes prostitution somewhat, and plays down its negative aspects, both for the worker and for the client. For example, Itiel doesn't dwell on the fact that prostitution is illegal in 49 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico. Because they are independent contractors, most male sex workers are in a better situation than their female counterparts: "Female prostitution brings a lot of heavy baggage with it; vicious pimps; strong males beating up weaker females; venereal diseases; and the tremendous difficulties facing 'fallen women' who want to liberate themselves from this trade. . . . This kind of baggage has little or nothing to do with the male hustler. He has no pimps to answer to, is physically as strong as - often stronger than - his client, is as likely or unlikely to spread venereal diseases as any other casual gay-sex partner . . ., and can weave in and out of the hustling scene relatively easy." And while female prostitution "involves an active male penetrating a passive female", in a hustler scenario who penetrates who "is an issue that needs to be worked out between the parties." According to Itiel, there is more to the sex trade than sex. "My dealings with hustlers, over a period of over thirty-five years and in many countries have been (with a few notable exceptions!) very satisfactory. In addition to good sex, I have also developed emotional relationships with a number of hustlers. The very nature of our relationships have kept our deepening emotional involvement under control, which is a good thing for all concerned." To Itiel, sex workers often serve as virtual boyfriends, which happens to be the title of one of his books. "My current sex worker and I are not in love with each other and, naturally, I pay for his services," Itiel wrote in Sex Workers as Virtual Boyfriends (146 p.; $14.95). "But we genuinely care about each other. Physically, the attraction is one sided. . . . But both of us are comfortable physically and emotionally with each other. . . . Flying in the face of conventional gay wisdom, I have witnessed that, by and large, my contacts with sex workers have been physically and psychologically more fulfilling, safer, and often more elegant than those with my cruising pickups. In sharing these experiences with readers, I hope to shed more light on successful interaction with sex workers for the benefit of both parties." A reader would smile at Itiel's attempts to establish long-term relationships with sex workers who are in it for the money and who are much younger and of different races, religions, classes or even sexual orientations than the author. Though Itiel agrees that not "every encounter with a sex worker will end in a special relationship", he asks that we "be open-minded enough to allow for the eventuality of creating more than just sex-for-money relationships with their workers". "Not all sex workers can be or wish to be upgraded; nor do all clients want their sex workers to become their virtual boyfriends. But some men who engage sex workers on a regular basis might prefer to experience deeper relationships with them," he adds, offering his own real-life experiences as proof that it works. Often the result is a "special relationship" where sex for money is enhanced by "a common intellectual pursuit, a spiritual practice, shared social activities, and even profound sexual interaction beyond what the agreement calls for." With sex workers as virtual boyfriends, Joseph Itiel's adventures continue, even in the privacy of his own home. Jesse Monteagudo is a freelance writer and activist who doesn't travel as much or as often as he wants, but manages to keep in touch with the "gay, gay world" through books and the Internet. He can be reached at jessemonteagudo@aol.com. |
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