Life with Toto

Ron “Toto” Farago, & Jesse Monteagudo
Photo: provided

Ronald David Farago, known to his friends as “Toto,” is unforgettable, loving, amusing, amazing, comical, and witty. At times he could also be stubborn, opinionated, and insufferable. However good or bad, Ron is the most interesting person that I have ever met. He is also the most important person in my life, at least since the death of my partner of over thirty years, Michael Greenspan.

I met Ron way back in the mid-eighties, after I turned thirty and Ron was still in his mid-twenties. Marty Rubin, my colleague as a contributor to The Weekly News (twn) and member of the Board of Pride South Florida, introduced me to his young protege. (Marty Rubin, also known as “the old bike daddy,” was a well-known writer, journalist, and leader of South Florida’s leather, SM, and fetish community.) It was Marty who named Ron “Toto,” after the dog in The Wizard of Oz, because he was “cute, lovable, small, and hirsute” (hairy). At that time Marty’s “boy computer genius” lived in Cape Canaveral, where he worked as a computer analyst at the Kennedy Space Center. Marty introduced Toto to the local gay scene where Ron, being young and handsome, was quite popular. From 1998 to 2000 Ron chaired GNOMES (Gay Naturist Orlando Men Enthusiasts Society), Central Florida’s gay nudist club; and attended nationwide gatherings sponsored by GNI (Gay Naturists International) and CMEN (California Men Enjoying Nature). Though Ron and I saw each other now and then, we did not connect until Ron, not yet forty, retired from his computer job and eventually (July 1, 2001) moved to South Florida. During much of that time we were involved with other people, Ron with Jim Chen (one of the nicest guys I’ve known) and me with Michael Greenspan.

During the first decade of this century, Ron and I became friends, and I attended some of the parties he hosted in his house in Oakland Park. But we did not get close until tragedy brought us together. When dementia struck Michael, forcing me to place him in memory care and then in a nursing home, my friends urged me to go out and meet people. I decided instead to go on a sea cruise and emailed my friends in search of a shipboard roommate. Ron answered my email, and the rest is history. By that time Ron had also experienced loss, namely Jim Chen’s untimely death from brain cancer. Ron and I started seeing each other on a regular basis and, after Michael passed away in 2017, we remained close.

My relationship with “Toto” Ron Farago is unusual, to say the least. Ours is an open, honest relationship, with dual residency. We share a circle of friends; we go out to dinner and the theater together; we often travel together; and we share our interest in the gay naturist movement, both in South Florida and elsewhere. I share my troubles with Ron, and I grudgingly accept his constructive criticism. I even played gay uncle to Ron’s lovable dog Popi who, sadly, is no longer with us. Though Ron is no Michael Greenspan, I learned to take him one day at a time, and that is good enough for me.

Jesse’s Journal
by Jesse Monteagudo