Michael's arrest has already sparked frenzied eruptions in the British press which is parroting police reports about a cop's too-cozy tryst with the 34-year old singer. It has been said the soloist Michael was being watched by undercover officers and that he had allegedly engaged in a solitary act for the edification of one fascinated policeman-flirt who thereafter took him away in handcuffs.

The singer's arrest bore all the marks of standard-brand police enticement and entrapment. Such practices are favored by some of Beverly Hills' most active male flirters—policemen-- who, at taxpayers expense, spend afternoons and evenings in public locales wagging their privates at strangers, using their genitals in a wormy act that some of them call "fag-fishing."

Activist Bob Kunst, who was arrested by peephole police during a 2:10 a.m. tryst with another man on Miami Beach, refers to such arresting officers as the orgasm orderlies.

"While these police enjoy sexy duty at taxpayer expense, yanking on their johnsons and such," said Kunst, "and though they flirt magnanimously in the moonlight, certainly there are more important, more dangerous jobs these officers of the law ought to be doing. Hanging around in public parks to catch adult gay cruisers isn't, I suspect, one of them."

Kunst insists that such park and restroom arrests are part of a nationwide sexual morality crusade, spurred on by the kind of hubris shown by Kenneth Starr's investigation into the private sex life of President Clinton.

Starr and the Republican Party, says Kunst, have set the standards for peephole police everywhere. "That's why these park arrests are now happening nationwide," Kunst complains. Kunst calls on the Human Rights Campaign and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to speak out against police practices such as enticement and entrapment and urges others to do likewise. GLAAD has already taken a stand about such matters, he notes.

London's Mirror reports that the plainclothes policeman who arrested Michael had been lured by the singer into a restroom. There, according to the Mirror, each man sat in a separate cubicle and the Mirror accepts that it was Michael, not the policeman, who initiated a round of "footsies".

The Mirror's account fails to explain why the plainsclothesman had allowed himself to be "lured" by a man nor why it was he, in fact, who rose from the privacy of his cubicle entering Michael's private domain to find him, allegedly, paying homage to Onan.

This solitary act, which Roman Catholic doctrine explains had once reportedly enraged the Lord Jehovah (in the Book of Genesis) also enraged the footsie-playing policeman. Jehovah's penalty for the unfortunate Onan had been an immediate death blow.

More fortunately for Michael, his fate was simply to be booked for investigation of a misdemeanor lewd conduct charge and he was released after posting a $500 bond. An arraignment of the star is scheduled for May 5.

Boy George expressed solidarity with Michael, quipping "We're all sisters under the skin."