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 Reverend Mel White Issues Reply to Anti-Gay Zealot Falwell's Tinky Winky Magazine Deplores Equality |
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Compiled By GayToday
Falwell also complains that "The gay and lesbian agenda is gaining a head of steam across this nation." He fears, he says, that "Minority status for homosexuals will guarantee them an equal place at the table with women, Hispanics and African-Americans in matters like affirmative action, job quotas, financial benefits for same-sex partners and much more." Noting that the Rev. Mel White is an official of the gay Metropolitan Community Churches Falwell tells how White and his "live-in lover", Gary Nixon, reside in Dallas. Obviously embarrassed by his association with the gay minister, Falwell explains, "I met Mel many years ago before his gay lifestyle was discovered which forced him to 'come out of the closet'." White was reared, Falwell notes, " by fine Christian parents." He married "a lovely Christian wife and soon became a father, and, much later, a grandfather."
"Mel had abandoned his family and his ministry and had moved in with his male lover, Falwell charges in the National Liberty Journal. The gay minister then became the Minister of Justice with the gay Metropolitan Community Churches. Falwell then credits White with being "one of the nations most articulate spokesmen for the gay and lesbian agenda." Falwell insists that he still loves Mel White and has tried very hard to be his friend. Still, he confesses," I must be obedient to the Lord and oppose his efforts to make homosexuals a bonafide minority. I do not believe we can blame genetics for adultery, homosexuality, dishonesty and other character flaws." Recently, complains Falwell, "Mel White began publicly distributing the aforementioned open letters. In his first open letter, Mel quotes from my autobiography where I tell how God, after I was converted to Christ in 1952, convicted me of my passivity in combating the racism that existed in the Southern environment. I was born and raised in a segregationist culture. As a young believer, this was one of the first things that the Holy Spirit began purging from my life." Rev. White's challenges to Falwell to debate have clearly upset the anti-gay zealot. Pretending that he himself has not been not a media-chaser, Falwell says: "I refused to debate publicly feeling he (White) was only attempting to create a media event." Falwell has released a 1996 letter sent to the Rev. Mel White so that, he says, "readers can fully understand" his "biblical opposition to homosexuality." The text of Falwell's no-longer private letter follows: January 13, 1996 Dear Mel,
Mel, our friendship is not the issue. You and I have been friends from our first meeting. The fact that you "came out of the closet," after some in the publishing industry learned of your homosexuality, and you then became a self-acclaimed national leader in the gay and lesbian movement, should not affect our friendship on a personal and professional level. It does, of course, greatly affect our fellowship in Christ. The issue, Mel, is you have sinned against Scripture, the Lord Jesus, the church at large and your own dear biological family. I do not question your claims that you have struggled with the temptations of homosexuality for much of your life. Every believer is similarly challenged in some area of life, according to Hebrews 12:1 " ... Wherefore ... let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." Every believer has a particular sin which "doth so easily beset him," be it homosexuality, dishonesty, heterosexual promiscuity, selfishness or ten thousand other transgressions of God's Law. While I do not believe these sins (including homosexuality) are genetically received, that is irrelevant. Inherited or learned, the Scriptures demand that sin be laid aside. Further, you and I both know well the Scriptural means of laying aside and overcoming the power of wickedness in our lives. You are an evangelical-trained minister, a former pastor and professor at Fuller Seminary. You are without excuse. You know what the Bible says about the cause and cure of sin. And, make no mistake about it, the Bible in both the Old and New Testaments declares homosexuality to be sin -- in the same way it classifies all heterosexual activity outside of marriage to be sin. You have written of your many attempts to conquer your inordinate affections early in your life. I do not doubt your sincerity nor the pain you have endured in the process. But this is also irrelevant. "The spirit of the prophet is subject to the prophet." Moral behavior, like all human conduct, is a choice. Millions of godly and pure individuals have chosen to be single and celibate for life. They have determined to have no sexual relationship, heterosexual or homosexual, for a lifetime. Millions more have been widowed early in life and have chosen to remain unmarried and chaste for the remainder of their lives. Because we are human beings, and not animals, we have the God-given capacity to govern our conduct, regardless our passions and feelings. Therefore, Mel, there can be no justification for you allowing your passions and feelings to cause you to abandon your wife and family for a male lover, as you have done. The fact that your dear wife is "understanding," and does not hate you, in no way vindicates what you have done to her. This simply speaks to her character and the genuineness of her personal relationship with Christ. Mel, I have been used by God to lead many practicing and committed homosexuals to Christ. I have also helped lead many Christian young people out of this lifestyle. As you certainly know, there are large ministries devoted exclusively to this work who are very successful in their efforts. Some of the leaders in these ministries are former homosexuals. I personally know former homosexuals who have been delivered from the gay lifestyle and, with their spouses and children, now serve Christ as pastors and Christian workers. This is not to say that these former homosexuals have not been tempted over and over again. Some have, no doubt, reverted to immoral behavior at times, repented and started over. But, they have recognized the sinfulness of their sin and have decided to spend a lifetime trusting, obeying and serving God according to His Word. They have determined not to allow "the sin that doth so easily beset them" to destroy them and bring shame to their Lord and families. In your letter, you state that you have built a meticulous file on my preaching. If this is so, then you know that I regularly condemn heterosexual promiscuity with the same aggressiveness as I do homosexual sin. You know that I preach that all sexual activity outside the marriage bond between a Scripturally-married man and woman is immorality. Your request for a private or public debate is denied. First of all, your premise for debate is fundamentally flawed. You state it thusly: "Is Jerry Falwell's anti-homosexual rhetoric based on biblical, scientific or historic truth and does it lead to spiritual renewal or to suffering and death of God's gay and lesbian children?." Mel, as you already know, my rhetoric is not anti-homosexual. My rhetoric is anti-homosexuality and anti-heterosexual promiscuity. There is a huge difference, and you, of all people, know this very well. It is the ancient issue of hating sin and loving the sinner. This intentional misspeaking is typical of your skillful "wildly untrue and dangerously inflammatory" language (as you say it in your description of my words) against evangelical ministers who lovingly and courageously speak out against the kind of heterosexual and homosexual misconduct that can ruin the lives of young people who are influenced by people like you. Second, I am not interested in promoting your publicity stunts and/or media hypes, such as you staged at Pat Robertson's in Virginia Beach and at James Dobson's Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs. You and I both are trained in the Scriptures. Your letter addressed to me, dated January 10, 1996, was clearly meant for distribution. Otherwise, you would not play such ridiculous semantics games by writing "If you are wrong and I am right (that God loves God's gay and lesbian children, hates to see them suffer and condemns anyone who incites or condones that suffering) ..." We both know that God loves everyone and has a wonderful plan for our lives which includes joy, freedom and eternal life. God loves you and me even when we are doing wrong. He does not love our wrongdoing but His love for us is unconditional. However, His love for us does not mean that His holiness and justice can be ignored. When we sin, as heterosexuals or homosexuals, we have a price to pay. "Be sure your sins will find you out." "The wages of sin is death." Mel, because of my responsibility to declare the whole counsel of God, I shall continue urging our youth, and adults, to abstain from immorality. I shall continue preaching that "the blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son, cleanseth from all sin." I shall continue my efforts to lead promiscuous heterosexuals and homosexuals to repentance because of their sins and faith in Christ. (As you know, I define promiscuity as all sexual activity outside the marriage bond between a man and woman.) I shall continue attempting to build and rebuild godly families that last a lifetime. On a personal note, Mel, I urge you to sincerely and prayerfully consider a return to the wife of your youth (if she will still allow this) and to your family. Macel and I, like you, are at that stage in life where our children and grandchildren are increasingly a precious part of our waking hours. Our 2.8 grandchildren (Jonathan and Shari's first arrives in March) are near perfect. In my heart, I believe you might be surprised how much joy Mel White could give and receive within the parameters of his true family. Mel, a public or private debate between us on your prescribed topic would accomplish nothing but a media circus. From my heart, I have been waiting to hear you say that you have wronged your family, your Lord and the Gospel ministry which you once cherished. In the meantime, I have not sought after meetings and telephone conversations with you. This is not because I dislike you now, but because I have tried to obey St. Paul's words in II Thessalonians 3:14-15 (TLB) "If anyone refuses to obey what we say in this letter, notice who he is and stay away from him, that he may be ashamed of himself. Don't think of him as an enemy, but speak to him as you would to a brother who needs to be warned." You are on a dead end road, Mel. But God still loves you and awaits your return, on His terms. I do not question your sincerity or your faith. I seriously question your judgment and lifestyle. You have abandoned everything your Christian parents taught you. You have abandoned your wife, children and grandchildren. (You said "til death do us part.") You have abandoned your evangelical training and your ordination. (You swore before your ordination council "I will be instant in season and out of season. I will never depart.") There is only one path for you. Return to the faith of your fathers and to yours. And I promise you, Mel, as I have remained your friend through your public departure, I will be there for you when you arrive back home. Hurry!! Sincerely your friend, Jerry Falwell Second Open Letter to Jerry Falwell from Rev. Mel White June 30, 1999 Dear Jerry,
All seven of us were there - son, daughter, son-in-law, grand-daughter, Katie, former wife, Lyla; and Gary, my partner of fifteen years. We gathered around the computer to read your response to my OPEN LETTER. They were stunned by the way you fictionalized our lives to make your point. "Mel abandoned his family, and his ministry," you wrote, "and moved in with his male lover." In the silence that followed those five pages of misinformation, Katie said softly, "Why did he say that you abandoned us, Grampa?" "Because he just doesn't understand," I replied. There are so many things you don't understand, Jerry. But that's all right. You aren't alone. Millions of people are as confused and confounded by this issue as you are. For decades our family, too, was a victim of misinformation about sexual orientation. Thank God, our story has a happy ending, but far too many lives are wasted, too many families ruined, too many congregations torn apart because they don't know the truth about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered minorities and are victims of fear and ignorance instead. When I appealed to you in 1996 you replied, "I am not interested in promoting your publicity stunts and/or media hypes." Jerry, I'm not interested in personal publicity or media hype. I'm not asking for a "debate" either. The "debate" has gone on far too long. We're just shouting at each other across an ever-widening chasm. Almost no one is listening. The whole country is divided. Let's begin a real conversation before more families are ruined and more lives are lost. If you and I are totally honest and lovingly frank, our public conversation could benefit everyone on both sides of this issue. I'll start by admitting that you are right when you say that I sinned in leaving my wife, Lyla. Jesus is very clear that divorce is a sin. I have confessed my sin and been forgiven by God, by my former wife, and by my children. And out of their forgiveness and understanding, we have become a family again. What you find difficult to understand is that the sin I committed in getting a divorce had roots in another kind of sin altogether, the sin of misinformation. In your first OPEN LETTER TO MEL you recall that you were, "…born and raised in a segregationist culture." And you admit frankly that as a young believer, "…this [misinformation about race] was one of the first things that the Holy Spirit began purging from my life." I was born and raised in a culture misinformed about homosexuality. I was told that my feelings were a sickness and that to act on those feelings was a sin. "All you need," one counselor informed me, "is to marry a good woman." I did and from that misinformation, all kinds of suffering followed. In my childhood and youth there were reasons to be convinced that homosexuality was a sickness and a sin. The American Psychological Association listed homosexuality as an illness until 1973 and the six verses in the Bible that referred to any kind of same-sex intimacy, seemed plainly to condemn homosexuality as a sin to those who had never studied what the verses meant in their time and place. Like millions before, we became victims of scientific and biblical misinformation. It took the Spirit of Truth thirty-five years to purge that misinformation from my life.
In your letter, you say that I have "sinned against Scripture." Then
you reprint an entire letter you wrote me in 1996 to explain your biblical
opposition to homosexuality." However, in that long letter you didn't
mention Sodom, or the 'holiness' passages in Leviticus. You don't even
discuss Paul's writings in Romans, I Corinthians or I Timothy, the only
passages used to support the biblical case against homosexuality. You only
say: "Make no mistake about it. The bible in both the Old and New Testaments
declares homosexuality to be a sin." Don't we both owe it to God, to the
Bible, to each other, and to those we serve, to take time to see if your
assumptions are true?
Before we do that, Jerry, I hope you will remember that whatever you feel about homosexuality and homosexuals, our right to equal protection under the law is a Constitutional, not a biblical issue. We are a democracy, not a theocracy. The laws of this land protect our right to disagree about these six biblical verses without being denied the basic rights guaranteed all Americans by the Constitution. Nevertheless, since you support your case against us on biblical grounds, let's use this second Open Letter to focus on the ancient story of Sodom in Genesis 19. These are your words, Jerry: "God wiped Sodom and Gomorrah clean from the face of the earth! These two Old Testament cities were so filled with homosexuality and perversion that they were utterly destroyed…Will our nation face a similar fate because God-fearing moral people failed to stop homosexuality from becoming an accepted lifestyle in our churches, schools and public places?" With respect, I'm asking you to consider the possibility that you are missing the point of this ancient story altogether and in the process you've become a primary source of misinformation about homosexuality and homosexuals that has tragic consequences for its victims, heterosexual and homosexual alike. With all the love we have for the Scriptures, Jerry, we still have to admit that the Bible can be a very dangerous book. In the 16th century, John Selden said, "These three words - 'Search the Scriptures' - have undone the world." He was right; yet we must go on searching them for our sake and for the sake of our wounded world. The Bible's central theme is clear: God loves the world and is determined to rescue and renew it. Yet the misuse of the Bible's great love story has drenched the planet in blood and tears. The Scriptures have been misused to defend bloody crusades and inquisitions; to support slavery, apartheid, and segregation; to sanction the physical and emotional abuse of women and children; to persecute Jews and other non-Christian people of faith; to support the holocaust of Hitler's Third Reich; to oppose medical science; to condemn inter-racial marriage; to execute women as witches; to excuse the violent racism of the Ku Klux Klan; to mobilize militias, white supremacy and neo-nazi movements; and to condone intolerance and discrimination against sexual minorities. You claim that God destroyed Sodom because of homosexuality. Yet Jesus and five Jewish prophets all describe the sins of Sodom without including homosexuality. Even your friend, Billy Graham, doesn't mention homosexuality on Sodom's list of sins. "This is the sin of Sodom," said the prophet, Ezekiel. "She and her suburbs had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not help or encourage the poor and needy. They were arrogant and this was abominable in God's eyes, (Ez.16: 48-49)." How could the prophet make it more clear? This story of Sodom is not about sexual orientation. It is a rather terrifying example of how God feels about a rich and selfish city whose citizens refused to feed the hungry, house the homeless, care for widows and orphans, or open their hearts and homes to strangers at the gate. Is it fair to blame homosexuals for the destruction of Sodom when the prophets and Jesus make it clear that God destroyed that city because it refused to help the needy and the outcast? Isn't it equally clear that God decided to destroy the city long before its men and boys gathered in Lot's front yard? Isn't it possible that by using this story to condemn homosexuals we might also be missing the real lesson God wants us to learn from whatever happened in the darkness that night? In Genesis 19:4-5, Moses tells us who had gathered on Lot's lawn. "All the men of the city, both old and young, all the men from every quarter." Jerry, not even in San Francisco could every man and boy be gay. So, what really is happening at Lot's gate? The only clues Moses gives us are the words shouted by the mob. "Where are the men who came to your home tonight? Bring them out that we might know them." The Hebrew verb "to know" is rarely used to mean sexual intercourse. More often it is used exactly as we use it today when we ask, "Who are you?" A soldier on guard would say, "Halt! Who goes there?" A threatening phone call might be answered "Who is this?" In July, 1964, when the four boys from the Congress on Racial Equality were arrested for protesting segregation on your church steps, did anyone say it this way? "Who are these strangers? Why do they come here?" No one might even have suspected that there were sexual overtones if Lot hadn't tried to appease the mob by offering them his virgin daughters. (Sexism and homophobia usually go hand in hand). But the girls weren't spared because the mob was gay. The bullies in that mob, like bullies throughout the centuries, wanted no outsiders in their neighborhood. This was their turf and the gang assembled to defend it. The men of Sodom were demonstrating the very reason that God had decided to destroy that city. Whatever they feared, hated, or didn't understand, they sought to punish and eliminate. Think of Nazi Brown Shirts breaking Jewish shop windows, or the Klu Klux Klan burning a cross on a black family's lawn, or Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney murdering Matthew Shepard. If Russell and Aaron had raped Matthew before they killed him, would you have assumed that the two boys were homosexuals? Gang rape, heterosexual or homosexual, is not about sex. It's about humiliating someone you hate, fear, or don't understand. It was common in ancient times for soldiers to dehumanize and demean the vanquished by raping them in the heat of victory. It is still happening today. We all saw front page photos recently of Abner Louima, the young black immigrant from Haiti who was held down in a restroom by Officer Charles Schwarz while Officer Justin Volpe rammed a broken broomstick into Louima's rectum. These two men and the three other officers who covered up this outrage were not gay. This act was not about sex anymore than that threat in Lot's front yard was about homosexuality. The phrase "f--- you" is not about having sex. It's an angry threat (if only symbolic) just like the mob's threat at Lot's house. The one finger gesture that often accompanies the threat isn't an invitation to make love. It is a threat to violate an enemy sexually. Jerry, if you believe this passage condemns any kind of sexual practice, it condemns gang rape and homosexuals are against gang rape as much as you are, maybe more, because we are so often the victims of that kind of mob. The story of Sodom says a lot about what makes God angry and nothing at all about homosexuality or homosexuals. By misusing this story to argue about sexual orientation, we risk missing God's point altogether. Heterosexuals and homosexuals alike are both in danger of becoming "Sodomites" in God's eyes when we do not care for the needy around us and when we cause suffering to those we fear, hate, or do not understand. When Jesus sent his disciples out into the world to "heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, and raise the dead," he ends his instructions to them with this clear command: "If a city or a house will not receive you, depart and shake the dust out of your sandals; for it shall be treated as Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment, (Matt.10: 11f.) Jesus doesn't condemn homosexuality. He condemns people who are unwilling to hear the truth, let alone to provide hospitality to those who have come to share it. But he blesses those who open their hearts and homes to the strangers in their midst. So, in the spirit of those angels who visited Sodom with life-changing news, on the weekend of October 22-24*, Gary and I are coming to Lynchburg to visit you and your congregation. We're not angels, Jerry, but we bring life-changing news and we're inviting gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people of faith, their families and friends to join us. Here's the idea. Though we disagree about sexual orientation, Christ has commanded us "to love one another." How can we say that we love each other if we refuse to listen to the other's side? We've heard your side, Jerry, in print, on radio and television, in newspapers and newsmagazines, on Geraldo, Larry King Live, and Nightline. Isn't it right for you (and for your congregation) to hear our side, too? Would you open your church homes to Gary and me and to the strangers from across the nation who may join us in Lynchburg? Would you match up our gay and lesbian families with your church families at least for Sunday dinner at the church or in local restaurant? My partner and I would love to treat you and Macel to a meal and an honest, open conversation. Imagine what might happen if your people heard our stories and our people heard yours. In the meantime, this is my promise to you. I will use the next four months to respond thoughtfully to every question you raise in our OPEN LETTER series. I'll review the biblical, scientific, and historic evidence that supports my premise that homosexuality is neither a sickness, nor a sin. When you prove me wrong or confused, I WILL ADMIT IT. I only ask that you take our questions seriously as well. I've linked my OPEN LETTERS to your web page. Why not link your OPEN LETTER responses to mine? I remember the first time you told me about those four teenagers from CORE who demonstrated on the steps of your Thomas Road Baptist Church in '64. They carried a sign reading "Does God Discriminate? You had them arrested. Now you regret it. "We resented those teenage boys," you said, "for their interference in the lives of our community. But looking back, they were courageous, and it is time that I for one admit it." Then you confessed something that makes me proud of you and gives me hope that one day you will change your mind about us. "The years of tradition that separated us were wrong," you said, "and the boys were right to point it out to us." Then you concluded with, "I just wish there had been another way for them to get our attention." Isn't it ironic that while we argue about the sexual orientation of the mob outside Lot's house, we've almost forgotten the strangers inside? They had come from God with truth that could have saved the city. By refusing to grant hospitality to the strangers, the people of Sodom sealed their fate. Jerry, we offer you "another way" to confront our differences, the Soulforce way of truth, love, and nonviolence. Sincerely, Mel PS: After reading your Open Letter to Mel the family took this picture to show you that we are together again just as you hoped. Enter into this dialogue with us, Jerry. Let's learn from each other. When you prove me wrong, I will admit it. Will you do the same? Notice the matching brown t-shirts. When my father, the Mayor of Santa Cruz, was proven wrong, he'd say, "Well eat my shirt." These t-shirts are dyed in Ghirardelli chocolate. It's the family's way of saying, "It's good to be wrong now and then. It's the only way we grow. So, if we have to 'eat our shirts,' we plan to enjoy it." |
