I don't like to beat around the bush, is it HIV you have or AIDS? I believe that FAAARRRR too many times the two are used as synonyms, but they are not!

My first boyfriend was HIV positive, and after a year of living together, started showing all the symptoms of what we call AIDS! I've started reading and educating myself on every possible study that's been conducted since the first day that the virus came to the mouth of every living soul, and let me tell you…did I get angry!

From my reading, I've formed two opinions on HIV/AIDS: The one given by Western medicine and my own. The first one, wants every human being scared shitless…you have been infected by HIV and now we are going to make an absolute fortune out of you by pumping tons of combination drugs down your throat like a goose!

The second opinion was formulated by reading lots of books where biologists were firmly convinced that HIV was far too weak to destroy our immune system, but that in combination with a few others (e.g. herpes, hepatitis A, B, C, etc.) would create the foundation for a serious immunodeficiency! I'm not a doctor, but I decided to ask a few friends who were HIV positive about this theory.

What I have found is 90 percent of the friends with AIDS-like symptoms have had some form of hepatitis. Why am I writing all this? Because I'm sick and tired of seeing young guys scared into thinking they will die tomorrow because they have sero-converted! I'm sure this e-mail won't change a thing. There is far too much money poured into HIV/AIDS campaigns by huge chemical industries for us little plebes to do anything!

Anyway, best of luck with everything. By the way, my boyfriend at present is HIV positive, contracted 10 years ago and has no sign of any AIDS symptoms. He is not on any combination drugs, how do we explain that? Long-term survivors? Long-term survivors, my arse!

Dear Agree to Disagree,

I am a person living with AIDS. Three things have to happen for that to be the case. HIV, the virus thought to be the cause of AIDS, must be present in my blood, my T cells must be below a certain point and I had to have had/have an AIDS-related opportunistic infection. I meet the criteria. I have AIDS. I agree that the two are misunderstood and used interchangeably when they are very different.

But I can only speak from personal experience and say that it was a combination of western medicine, spirituality and love saved my "arse" six years ago when I got pneumocystis carinii pneumonia (PCP). I would be the first to assert that an HIV-positive diagnosis is not a death sentence, just like I believe a person can beat cancer or any other life-compromising disease.

Whether or not we believe HIV is the sole cause of AIDS, and correct me if I am wrong here, we all agree it needs to be present for AIDS to occur. That being said, wouldn't it be smart to avoid HIV just like you might avoid herpes, or any other sexually transmitted disease? That's why I personally believe in safe-sex guidelines.

If we play safe, we don't need to worry about treatments. If we don't need treatments then the drug companies can't shove anything down our throats. I agree it's frustrating to watch drug companies spend billions on advertising drugs that you need to get a prescription for, whether it be for unwanted facial hair or AIDS. Why not advertise to the doctors who prescribe the stuff and spend the rest on research or lowering costs?

But drug companies are a business and they have a right to make their own decisions. Just like we have a right to choose how we deal with any diagnosis and what treatment options we exercise. I'm not about scare tactics, as a long-term survivor myself I've lived through them all. I was supposed to be dead by now, but by believing in myself and making my own very personal treatment choices I have managed to survive.

Let's agree to disagree and channel some of our obvious passion about this issue into helping to educate our young community about self-esteem and love. Let's give them a foundation so that they can make individual choices that are right for them despite what us plebes, or the drug companies have to say.

I'm actually scared shitless man! I'll be 21 in a month and have just been told by my doctor that I am HIV positive. I told my family and two of my mates and they've been very supportive. I'm just really scared. It feels like I have lost everything, like I have nothing to live for. I feel all I can do is look after myself.

I've been bisexual for a year now but who is going to want an HIV positive man? A girl? A guy? For starters I'm scared to put anyone at risk. I just feel like I am going to end up alone. I've decided to hold off on the drug thing for a few years but I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing by putting them off. What do you think?

I am trying to build up my immune system on my own by working out. Since I'm afraid of getting thin like some of the men I've seen in the clinic I'm overeating.

Danny, man, I'm really scared. Is there anything you can say that will make me understand a little more about this? Are there ways to stay healthy and perhaps beat the odds?

Dear Just Breathe,

I'm so sorry to hear you're scared. Lots of us have been there. To begin with, an HIV diagnosis is no longer a death sentence. There are therapies and support nowadays that didn't exist even 6 six years ago and while you may be confused about when to start, be comforted by the fact that you have them as options when you're ready.

Secondly, find a doctor. Get one you are comfortable with and use the waiting room time to jot down those medical questions and don't leave until they are answered. That's his/her job. Third, use the support you've been blessed with and seek out the support of others in your position. There you will find answers to questions on dating, disclosure and living with HIV.

Lastly take a deep breath, you have time to figure these things out. Testing positive is frightening but I believe if you allow yourself some time, seek out support, get educated and continue to look out for your physical and mental health you can beat the odds. I'm 38, positive since '82 and I like to think I beat the odds each and every day.

I read your column about the 18-year-old who had just become HIV positive and wanted to share my views. I am 53 years old and was diagnosed when I was 38. I've been through a lot, but I still retain a healthy and happy outlook on life. I have had two loving relationships. The last one lasted 8 years and came to its conclusion because I think it had simply run its course, even though we both worked to nurture its existence.

We were both poz when we met and he got very sick but recovered and continues to be the AIDS Poster Boy of health. Life goes on. Living with AIDS is massively difficult, but I am a survivor. I am happy and I have someone who loves me. A newly infected person should not lose sight of the true issue. It's life, not AIDS. It's who you are and how you see yourself in life. Live it to the fullest in spite of anything.

It is such an individual choice, a person's happiness comes from within and we all have the ability to create exactly the life we choose for ourselves from moment to moment. My view of HIV/AIDS after many meetings with doctors over the years is that it is becoming a manageable disease and anyone newly diagnosed can hope to live a long and healthy life.

With this being true, I focus on myself and not the disease. I continue to discover myself in new ways each day. I change and adapt with life as problems arise. Being HIV poz has provided me with opportunities to learn about life and myself in ways I never would have if I had not been confronted with such a dilemma. I have a great passion for living.

Leo Buscaglia wrote in Bus 9 To Paradise, "Life is a dynamic process. It welcomes anyone who takes up the invitation to be an active part in it. What we all call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose Life."

Dear Wise Man,

Thanks to you and Leo for the reminder that we all have a choice. I think I too will continue to take "life" up on its "invitation".