I don't have a question but just had to write with some applause for Elizabeth Taylor. There is no keeping the woman down. I'm so happy to see her looking and feeling spry and happy lately. One, because I love the gal and am happy for her, and two because as long as she is alive she will be fighting the good fight against AIDS.

I watched with a friend as Barbara wrapped up with something like, "if you had one wish…" or something like that. I jumped up, turned to my friend and said "she's gonna say, an end to AIDS." Miz Liz thought and thought and then said, "I think I would wish to always feel this good." My heart sank. I selfishly couldn't believe I had called it wrong.

Then she said "…so that I can continue my work against AIDS." Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Elizabeth Taylor. You are my hero because you have always, unfailingly, for years and years, lent an educated eloquent hand and voice for those of us with HIV and AIDS.

It is true you are a National Treasure, not just for your wonderful work on the screen, but your huge capacity for love. We Love You right back!

Dear Join the Club,

I couldn't have said it better myself, thanks for taking the time.

It's difficult enough to meet someone who you want, and wants you back, let alone someone who is willing to work to become lovers. It's also hard to find someone with whom you can be honest- -Working, instead of abandoning the relationship when it gets rough- -Someone who isn't into playing silly, immature, emotional mind games.

For me, I think that the AIDS issue, while being a very important consideration, becomes secondary in the effort to create a lasting partnership. I sympathize with the person who signed "Confused in SF" a few months back.

My advice to him is, to try giving yourself at least 3 months of dating before having sex with someone. If at the end of 3 months of dating if you still like the guy, then it's safe to say you'll at least end up as friends. If the guy dumps you before then, you should be glad you didn't have sex with him because he wasn't worth it. He's probably scum and you should be proud you were not a stupid fool who fell for his manipulation.

You don't have to have sex with another person for him to like you, or fall in love with you, or decide to spend more time with you. A lasting partnership is built on other things. Sex might seem like a good start, but I don't think it's really a good foundation to build on.

On the other hand, if you're having sex just for the physical pleasure there's no need for the 3 months. Just enjoy the pleasure (safely of course) and don't think about any kind of long term relationship with the guy. If he is interested, then the 3 month probation period applies again.

I practiced this for the past 6 years and only had sex 3 times. That'll tell you something about what to expect if you follow my example. I think it's a scary commentary on the gay scene, huh?

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past year. He's HIV+ and I'm not. We're still working on our relationship, on getting along, on our expectations and how we can help each other meet them.

The biggest impact the HIV issue has had on our lives is that he has to take some of his medication on an empty stomach, so we have to plan our dinner parties around this.

Rules and Regulations,

I agree that a lasting relationship isn't built on just sex, it's built on love. I also believe that a good relationship takes work. I understand your point and thank you for your suggestion.

I have to be honest, though, and tell you that the way you go about dating sounds a bit stringent. I think each and every individual has to make up his or her own boundaries with regard to love and sex. I can't help but feel, using words like "expectations", "scum", and "manipulated", lead me to believe that you may have had a bad experience and have found this way to guard against getting hurt again.

I hope I'm wrong, but if I am right you might need to rethink things. I also noticed that you don't speak at all of emotions or how a person feels. Some of life's most important lessons can only be learned by making a mistake here and there.

I have been poz for a little over a year. I just found out who was responsible for infecting me. He has known for 13 years that he was infected, but when we slept together he told me he was neg. I know that it takes two and I accepted that risk and I guess now I am paying for it. I have dealt with the fact that I am poz, but now, knowing that he was the one who infected me, I don't know how to approach him.

Dear Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right,

I suggest that you hold off on approaching this person until the urge to "whup some butt" has passed. You are angry and rightfully so. What your buddy did was not only selfish but illegal. Many of us with HIV and AIDS experience anger upon diagnosis- -Anger at ourselves, or at those who infected us, whether or not we have been lied to.

Surely you know by now the feelings of sexual insecurity and rejection that can accompany an HIV diagnosis, and we all have to face the fear of disclosure, but fortunately we don't all deal with it by lying.

While I understand your need for resolution, and admire your willingness to accept some of the responsibility, it's only been a year and you don't have to approach him now.

Marianne Williamson said in her book, A Return to Love, "I forgive you but I'm not ready to have lunch yet." I suggest you hold off on your approach until you have completely forgiven him.

Only when your anger has passed will you be able to make your point effectively. That may take some time and some would say, "why bother at all?" But if knowing he infected you prevents him from infecting someone else then it's well worth the effort.

I may be out of line with this email but I was very touched by "Lost in Boston's" letter. I myself am just returning from the hospital after being diagnosed with PCP and told that it is more than likely that I am HIV positive. (I have had better weekends.).

Fortunately, it has always been a priority of mine to have a support network around me. I am so lucky to have a loving family and amazing friends to help me through this very scary ordeal. And coming home to my wonderful kitties helped too. The hardest part of the HIV thing is the stress that it adds to your life.

I'm not supposed to know but my family is totally stressed too. That stresses me out, and I turn to my lover who is also stressed. I am not a religious person but, being raised in the shadow of the church and needing a little respite from stress, I find myself reading my bible from time to time.

I think that maybe if "Lost in Boston" could just attempt to give up the blame and stop trying to figure out "why him", he might be a bit less angry. Nobody is at fault for this disease. How we deal with it is totally within our power.

If he isn't feeling supported by his doctor he should get a new one. It's his own choice and Boston has some of the best treatment facilities in the country. Anyway, I hope that "Lost in Boston" finds a calm place and holds onto it. Thanks for listening.

Dear Peace is Powerful,

With or without AIDS it would be great if everyone could find a calm place. It's the "holding onto it" that is the hard part. Like you are saying, faith, support and love are the keys.