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Or a Healthy Gay Community? |
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By Eric Rofes A Boulder Gay Men's Health Summit Speech
Ultimately, we wanted to begin this Summit by asking you to think about "What
is a healthy gay man?" Is it someone who is physically fit, but not too
skinny and not too muscle-bound? Can a gay man be considered healthy if he's
overweight? Smokes? Is HIV-positive? Is he someone who never drinks
alcohol or uses drugs? Would you consider someone to be healthy if he
regularly took allergy medication? Anti-depressants? Ecstasy?
We want you to think tonight-and think deeply-about the beliefs and the biases you bring to this question. How do you determine if YOU are healthy? What relationship do your own values and everyday social practices have to your perspective on this question? We want you to ponder this deeply because we believe that behind all of the contentious gay male debates about health, sex, and identity are radically different assumptions about what we consider to be "healthy." By becoming more mindful of our own beliefs here, we can better come together in a broad, inclusive gay men's health movement. Can you be a healthy gay man at the age of 85? At the age of 16? Do healthy gay men have sex at rest stops? Do they go to sex clubs? Are all healthy gay men sexually versatile or can you be a total bottom and still be considered healthy? Can you be a total top? Can you be into SM? Can you be attracted to guys who are much older than you and still be healthy? Can you be attracted to much younger men? Do you know any gay men living on public assistance that you consider healthy? Are there any bleached-blonde gay men who you'd consider to be healthy? Are members of the new tribe of Abercrombie men appearing in gay communities everywhere wearing Abercrombie t-shirts or sweatshirts, healthy? What about any 300-pound bears? Can they be considered healthy? Do you know any immigrants who do not yet speak English whom you'd consider to be a healthy gay man? Can you be a healthy gay man and be transgendered?
Is a healthy gay man someone who has sex once a day? Once a week? Once a month? Could you consider a celibate gay man to be healthy? Do you know any men involved in a monogamous relationship that you'd consider to be healthy gay men? Any men in open relationships? Any single gay men? Do healthy gay men use a condom every time they have anal sex? Are there any barebackers whom you'd consider healthy? Are all healthy gay men spiritual? Do they all attend religious services regularly? Are there gay men who attend Catholic church services whom you'd consider healthy? Do you think a gay man who's married to a woman could be healthy? I've spent a great deal of time this month wondering if I am a healthy gay man. I've tried to take an inventory of my health condition over the past few weeks. When I consider myself to be healthy, I think of certain everyday activities in my life. I go to bed at 9 PM most nights and get up around 5 to go to the gym. I work out with weights and spend 30 minutes on the Stairmaster. I try to eat healthy foods, avoid red meat, and try to avoid sweets. I don't smoke and don't drink and haven't used recreational drugs for over twenty years. I attend regular meetings of several support programs. I am HIV-negative, have never been hospitalized, and my cholesterol level and blood pressure are normal. At the same time, I have allergies and take Allegra to control them on almost a daily basis. I am prone to skin rashes, which I treat with acupuncture and herbal treatments. I have lower back problems and see a chiropractor each week for an adjustment. I tend to over-eat and wish I could lose a few pounds. While I generally think of myself as a happy person and have worked to minimize stress in my life, occasionally something throws me for a loop and I'm overwhelmed by depression, panic attacks, and worse. I've never tested positive for syphilis or gonorrhea, but I've had crabs and scabies many times. Am I a healthy gay man if I am often attracted to men who look much like me: other white Jewish or Italian men? Other bears? Am I healthy if I like guys my own age? Yet if I've lately been messing around with a guy in his early 70s, and another one who is 23, does this make me unhealthy or more healthy? Would a new interest in men of other racial and ethnic backgrounds suggest that I am becoming healthier? If I eat too much junk food, is this an indication that I have low self-esteem? I drink at least three Diet Cokes a day; does consuming the artificial sweeteners and caffeine suggest I am not very healthy? My lover thinks that I work all the time and don't take enough "down time" away from my teaching, writing and organizing. Am I actually a workaholic?
These queries and others run through my mind as I consider the question "What is a healthy gay man?" I do not believe there are easy answers to these questions, but I think they are worth all of us considering as we begin our work together at this Summit. As I close this talk and we move into an activity that probes these questions, I want to leave you with a few final thoughts to mull over. When we say that we are aiming to promote the health and wellness of gay men, what are we actually talking about? When we participate in community with people with a broad range of values, desires, identities, and social practices, is it essential that we talk together candid ly about our bottom line assumptions about health? And finally, should we initiate a process whereby our communities and subcultures struggle openly with these identical questions? |
Eric Rofes 
© 1997-2000 BEI