Hi, I'm 18 years old--but I have AIDS, and I just found out--and I don't know what to do with myself. I have no one to turn to. My parents don't want me. I don't know any groups online, or offline that I can go to for help. Do you know of any? To me it's the end of the world. I should end it right now and here. So please help me, thanks.

Dear Friend,

Testing HIV positive or finding out you have AIDS is one hell of a blow, but there is hope. An AIDS diagnosis no longer means death. You need someone to talk to and I can't do that in a letter, however I can tell you that you aren't alone in feeling the way you do.

It's been said, "Where there is life there is hope." Many of us who have tested positive have felt that an HIV/AIDS diagnosis meant the end. Now, years later, we know that it wasn't, things just seemed really bad in that moment.

Allow yourself some time, things do get better. That initial feeling of overwhelming dread is temporary, "ending it" isn't. It is a very final solution to a survivable problem. I don't know much else about you so I can't be too specific about my referrals.

Please call the National AIDS Hotline, 800-342-2437 (24 hours), or get to a health care professional and tell them exactly what you told me.

They will refer you to local services that can help. I'm sorry to hear your parents reacted the way they did but they may also need some time. Just know that, if you just reach out, you have friends and support you haven't met yet. I don't know who or where you are but I wish I could give you a warm supportive hug and instill you with some hope. I'm sure upon reading this many others will feel the same way. You are not alone, and you are loved.

Ten years ago I tested HIV positive and at that time a lot less existed in the way of treatments and support. I remember like it was yesterday the feeling when I heard my diagnosis. I got a rush throughout my entire body and I cried daily and was in a trance for like 2 weeks. I was very certain I would die and that I wouldn't see my 30th birthday. I felt hopeless and alone.

Cut to 2000. I'll be 38 next month and feel and look better than I ever have (if I do say so myself). My life is not without its complications -- but whose is? I have learned to see the beauty in complications. I have had to endure a lot over the years but I was able to jump each and every hurdle along the way.

Every single time I was sure I would fall, sometimes I did and if I just asked, some loving person would come from nowhere to help me up. Every single effort taught me something about myself, and the goodness in people. In a way some of the most devastating things can make you feel very much alive, maybe not good, but very much alive. I started living and loving again.

It wasn't easy but I saw the "life" in everything good and bad. I know that sounds weird but that's how I felt. Now every day is a gift, every day. Not just the good ones and not just because I might die (we all do) but because I learned about love and spirituality. Since then I've needed nothing else. Now I really sound weird and I'm not even sure why I'm telling you this except to say I agree with a lot you say. Thanks!

Dear Thanks for Sharing,

I think you are telling me, and now others, how you feel because you're proud of your accomplishments and eager to share what you've learned. I also believe love in its many varied forms collectively is a force to be reckoned with and like you I have faith in that. In other words I don't think you're weird -- I think you're right and you're a living reminder of the power of love.

-- American Beauty

Dear Readers,

I recently responded to a letter from a newly diagnosed 18 year-old. The response to that letter from all of you has been overwhelming. Within hours of it's posting I had a mailbox full of support for this young person. While I am unable, for confidentiality reasons, to share anyone's personal information, I wanted to share some of that support with him/her and anyone else recently diagnosed HIV positive.

"I was 21 when I was diagnosed and I am now 22. I have lived a year of hell, and have only recently began to feel like a human again. I just wanted to offer my support, and hope that other poz youngsters such as myself will write in and just show that we exist, in large numbers, unfortunately. I live in a small village in England and so I was even more restricted to what I could do and what I had available to me. My parents didn't even know I was gay. Lots of things go through your head. Why should I go on? Is it worth it? Lots of things that just clog your head up, but they do pass."

--Ritchie

"I want him to know that there are a lot of people who care." -- Milito

"I am now 32, and learned of my HIV diagnoses 1 week after my 18th birthday. I was, at the time, one of the youngest people to test HIV+ in the entire country. Well, now, almost 15 years later, I am alive and kicking."

--Todd

"I've gone through what you're surely going through now. I was diagnosed HIV+ almost 9 years ago, and through a process of elimination, have determined that I must've been infected approximately 14 years hence! Today, I'm happy, healthy and know that I've a purpose in this life. It's taught me tolerance, the true meaning of love, and to appreciate those that I love. Now I know that my life has a purpose, meaning and value. Hang in there. Don't keep it all trapped inside, and love yourself."

--Drew

"That 18 year-old was me ... 14 years ago!"

--JD

"It is not the end of this world, now you can live a Positive life… If you tested positive years ago it would have been very different, but now we have treatments and you can live a normal life."

--Luis, RN Educator, Counselor, HIV AIDS

"I have been infected since 1979 and am still healthy and active. Hopefully his parents will react normally in the long run. My folks didn't want me around until 1990. Took ten years. Patience and not stressing out are the most important."

--Kevin

"All my friends that are HIV poz or have AIDS are doing so well. I think the key to their secret is they use their heads. They don't dwell on it they overcome it. This to them is just like a normal day. Positive thinking really works. Trust me. You will be in my prayers everyday."

--Jon

"It's not the end of the world.... just a new one to learn to live and prosper in."

--Jerry

"I have been HIV+ since January 1989. Here it is eleven and a half years later, and I still work full-time, have a wonderful lover and my life has never been better. Does it mean that it will be easy? NO. It is an emotional roller coaster at times. It is my hope that you can relay to "Hopeless" that the situation is anything but that. I have never had an HIV related illness because I strive to take good care of myself. Please let him know that he is in my prayers for the strength and courage to accept the situation and go on with life. Life is far too wonderful to spend his time wondering about 'what ifs'."

--Tracy

"I became HIV positive 10 years ago. You can make it if you don't give up."

-- Jeff

"Today I met with several of my friends, we realized even the simplest things in life are the best time of our lives."

-- a Brother of the family

"I love you."

-- an anonymous Mom

So you see my friends, none of us are alone. I wish you all health and happiness.