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Pen Points
Letters to Gay Today |
Hal Call: Unfairly Judged by a Prudish Kid
When you put your money where "your mouth is", you gain credibility with me. Hal Call might have been a "dirty old man" in my young puritanical eyes but I realize that he was actually a "true believer" after all. Therefore, I regret having been so critical. Any man who puts "his money" in the movement is a truly devoted gay activist. One thing you learn as you grow older is how "wrong" you could have been in your youthful judgments. Regarding Hal Call, I was obviously too critical. He might have been "too vulgar" for my sensibilities, but I realize that -in the final analysis- he was one of the first "dough boys" in the trenches with us in the early years of the gay liberation movement. He published a magazine which helped me understand my own homosexuality in the mid 1950's. He actually published the first article I ever wrote about homosexual preferences; "Effeminacy versus Affectation". I would hope that younger activists who read this letter would understand how much "perspective" time gives us. You may think your "gay activist enemy today" is wretched, horrid, despicable, etc. However, with the passage of time and with the growth of wisdom, you will discover that "that which separates you 'pales' in comparison with that with which you really have in common". One of my most "vicious" political enemies has become my very best friend. Other political adversaries and I have "buried the hatchet" and have become agreeable co-occupants of the historic landscape. "They" (ignorant bigots) are our enemies. We are both brothers and sisters. We are one. Hal Call, my apologies for the nasty things I say about you in the history books. I was just a prudish kid who judged you too harshly. It is just a shame that you were so vulgar and tacky. Perhaps it was my fault for being a typically prudish American young man in the 1950s.
Cloningly yours, At a California Senator's Office
The aide said he would convey the message to Boxer. He had the demeanor of a mousy, tight-lipped bureaucrat. There were about 50 demonstrators, mostly middle-aged. Women were a clear majority. All white except for a few Asians. No blacks. They were articulate and assertive, but not rowdy. About half a dozen said they had come in from other counties to be part of the protest. All had heard of the demo at the last minute, like me. There was no formal organization. Boxer's e-mail: senator@boxer.senate.gov Her S.F. office number: (415) 403-0100 Her S.F. fax number: (415) 956-6701
Cheers, A Corporate Christmas
I tell you this because my Christmas gift at work was a layoff notice. One week prior to Christmas I was sent packing. To say I was dumbfounded was an understatement. I have replayed those last moments over and over in my mind...so utterly harmless...yet so equally malacious...like a dagger through my heart and my self worth. I gave everything that I know to this job. I gave my loyalty, my time, and my heart. In place of peace on earth and good will toward men, I was rewarded with the notion that I am unemployed for the first time in my life beyond my control. I cannot get over the feeling of having a dagger in my back, out of my reach--as if in the small of my back. I put a good face on for Christmas--I spent money I didn't have to make sure everyone had their presents, yet I don't have the notion to tell anyone because I am so stunned...so ashamed. realize that I could always go back into management like I have been doing but I removed myself from a job I held for 16 years because of chest pains and that I could no longer had the stamina to do the job the way I used to. Thankfully I have developed some competence in the new e-community that should help in a new job...but I can never undertake work with such loyalty and unquestioned effort. I am really not sure why I am writing this except for the cathartic nature of it all....damn, this hurts.
Shadow |