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Pen Points
Letters to Gay Today |
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S&M: Private Fantasy & Public Politics
Jack Nichols is right when he says there are connections between private fantasy and public politics. This is the point that advocates of S&M always skim over. A good example of this connection is Nazism, which I discovered through my own historical research. Nazism was not just a political movement. It was also a sexual fantasy system, one that glorified power, intensity, abusive masculinity, and the relationship of domination/submission. One of the early influences on the Nazis was the self-hating Austrian Jewish homosexual Otto Weininger. He committed suicide in 1903 at the age of 23. He made S&M and the glorification of abusive masculinity into an elaborate philosophy of life. The Nazis later quoted approvingly from his writings. Hitler once remarked that Weininger was "the only good Jew" he had ever heard of. And let's not forget about Ernest Roehm, the homosexual head of the SA. He and his homosexual buddies liked to strut around in uniforms and hold tough poses. Hitler tolerated them for a while -- until Roehm started making noises about replacing Hitler as the Fuehrer. On "the Night of the Long Knives" (June 30, 1934), Hitler had Roehm and his buddies murdered in a raid on one of their parties.
Roehm and company were not the only homosexuals who got turned on by the
Nazis. There were many. In the end, it did them no good. Thousands of German
homosexuals were eventually rounded up, sent to concentration camps, and
exterminated.
Hitler's rallies were mass glorifications of tough masculinism. We've all seen the news clips: tens of thousands of men in dark uniforms, vigorously strutting by, arms outstretched in phallic salute to the alpha male at the top, who returns the phallic salute to his "blond brutes." The ancient Greek philosopher Plato was right. The state is the soul writ large. If enough men in this society get their rocks off through the glorification of power, intensity, and abusive masculinity, then the larger society will tend to become more brutal. The obvious example in our country is the rise of militarism in the second half of the 20th century. Like Nazism, American militarism is heavily invested with male sexual fantasies. If you don't believe me, just look at the ads for the Marines. Men have the right to humiliate and brutalize each other, as long as it's consensual and doesn't result in death. But the rest of us also have the right to criticize male fantasies that contribute to great social horrors.
Sincerely,
Its OK to Enjoy Pain and Submission
You focused to an excessive degree on the nuts-and-bolts of BDSM, while largely misunderstanding the deep and different sexuality that is satisfied by bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism. This is, in its way, as discriminatory within the gay community as anti-gay discrimination is within our global society. Why, you ask, can't we be happy sexually without linking it to "power or pain or punishment?" That is as absurd a question (and implied condemnation) as "Why are you gay?" Neither is a choice. Both are simply states of being. S/M is not the joyless, cruel, degrading sexuality portrayed in that "Viewpoint." I'm a submissive, and what would truly be cruel and degrading is to deny me the fulfillment of a very deep need. And there is tremendous joy -- not merely arousal -- in myself and a top mutually satisfying a mutual and profound desire. Yes, it involves pain, sometimes a lot of pain. I want that pain. Not to be punished for being gay, or for enjoying sex, or any other such nonsense. That pain emphasizes and underscores my surrender, and to me it is wildly erotic. Not all men (or women) are "wired" that way, but I am and so are tens of thousands of other people. You see only the outward emblems of S/M, the welts and the whips and the handcuffs, and judge this sexuality based on those emblems. Would you critique a painting based on a collection of the brushes and tubes of paint used to create it? Of course not. Why then judge S/M on a collection of props?
Does it hurt? Yep! Do I yell? Yep! Do I WANT it? You bet I want it! It is an entirely consensual act between two men who want the same thing, just from different perspectives. And to me it is loving and erotic and even tender, and every bit the "happy-go-lucky mutual abandon" you wrote of. Just because it doesn't look and sound like your "mutual abandon," that doesn't make it therefore necessarily bad or wrong. It's just different. I am not going to launch into an exhaustive analysis of why pain and submission turn me on, because I don't need to tear apart something so fulfilling and right for me, in order for it to BE fulfilling and right for me. Prejudice against the BDSM community is just that -- prejudice. Every bit as unfair and ugly as the anti-gay prejudice of some heterosexuals. S/M is my sexuality, it's about raw intimacy and primal emotion. Am I supposed to suppress and deny that sexuality, because some find the expression of it distasteful to their personal sensibilities? Sorry, but that sounds frighteningly similar to the view of those who would have gays and lesbians suppress and deny their sexuality. You call yourself a liberationist. Well, then, liberate me to enjoy and express my personal sexuality in my own way, which neither hurts nor harms anyone. Liberate yourself from the misconception that S/M is some painstakingly-planned Satanic ritual of hate and anger and punishment. It isn't like that at all. Ritualistic, yes. But paradoxical though it seems to you, I swear that it is tender beyond explanation. There is no other word than "tender" to describe it. When I look into my top's eyes and see the bottomless pool of love and pride there, the astonishing acceptance of my surrender, ah -- that is tenderness of an intensity that brings waves of pure rapture. And finally, why not liberate us all from what is nothing but another prejudice. Isn't there prejudice enough in the world already?
Sincerely, Join the 'Stop Dr. Laura' Protest at Paramount
Please forward this annoucement to all your friends. Thanks! |
Thanks for the refreshing discussion of S&M in GayToday. Whatever views we
may have, I hope we all agree that this is an issue worthy of public dialogue
and that all voices should be heard.
Anyone you see licking someone's boots is not doing it because he was
ordered to. He's doing it because he WANTS to, and he has likely been
waiting with mounting excitement for that "order" to be given. I like being
spanked, paddled, and strapped, hard.
Folks, this promises to be big. StopDrLaura.com will be
joining the Horizons Foundation in a joint protest at
the gates of Paramount on the morning of Tuesday
March 21st. Make sure you check our Web site for updates on
the protest, and soon we'll have materials there to help you
get to the protest and participate. And don't forget to
buy your StopDrLaura.com t-shirt in-time for the protest -
we've already sold over 400! - you can get them on our homepage a
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