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By Ann Northrop
I knew that headline would grab you...and it's actually true, sort
of. Give me a minute to get there.
What I want to propose is that we've achieved a new plateau in our ever upward quest to legitimize same-sex attraction as good, rather than evil and bad. Assuming that's what we're after. Several signposts have cropped up that look to me like evidence of a new level of relaxation around us. The first one that hit me on a conscious level was a front page spread in the New York Observer, "What's Your Gay Quotient?" in honor of Pride Month, no doubt. It wasn't the usual self-conscious gigglefest. The writer talked to celebrities and others and asked them to consider semi-seriously to what extent they thought they possessed the capacity for same-sex attraction. (That wasn't their wording. And they also asked gay celebs what proportion of themselves might be able to have feelings for the opposite sex.) The surprising thing was that people gave what sounded like fairly thoughtful and real answers. And virtually all announced some mixture of feelings, discussed it rather easily, in fact. Hmmmm, I thought. That feels new. Is it possible that we've reached some new level of ease? Are we beginning to see the monolithically straight admit, and maybe act on, feelings of lust for members of their own sex? A glimmer became a trend when I tuned in to the ABC daytime show "The View" and found the same discussion, sparked by the fact that Lisa Ling, their new, young panelist, was one of those quoted in the Observer.
And then the climax--Joy Behar pins Barbara Walters to the wall on the question. Barbara played it very cool at first, very dyke-supportive and above it all, avoiding and ducking every question from Joy, who finally lost patience. "Okay, Barbara, let's get real," is approximately what came next. "Let's say you're in prison, for life. Would you or wouldn't you get down with your cellmate?" Barbara's still ducking and weaving. "Now, come on, Barbara, America wants to know. Yes or no? Would you or wouldn't you?"
"Well, yes," said Barbara, finally giving up the dodge, "I probably would." Whooooooaaaaaaaa, Barbara! Are they already lining up outside the studio door? You may just have won yourself another GLAAD award. After that, I began seeing signs everywhere. I now interpret everything as evidence that the world is opening up a lot more calmly to the idea that sexuality is a lot more complex than previously understood. The huger and more enthusiastic than ever crowds on the sidelines at both the Dyke March and the Pride Parade seemed to me a quantum leap forward. No longer are spectators recoiling in horror, even at the sight of our Magic Wand Marching Band.
Coincidentally, that direct action was followed almost immediately by the very formal and official Matt Lauer interview with Blanche Wiesen Cook about the second volume of her biography of Eleanor Roosevelt--an interview that discussed at some length Eleanor's relationship with her female lover. All this fuzzy warmth does not negate the fact that guys are still being arrested in huge numbers in parks and public restrooms, just for looking at another guy. Or that people are still beaten, killed, rejected by their families, fired from their jobs, etc., etc. But I do think we're headed inexorably to a time when relationships are considered fine whether they're between same sex or opposite sex partners. Unfortunately, that's probably what we'll settle for, and we won't have improved conditions for those considered more fringe now. We'll have legitimized a homogenous version of ourselves, instead of really broadening the zone of safety for everyone. And in the midst of this: note to Evan Wolfson et al. USA Todayhas confirmed what I thought I'd heard--far fewer people are getting married these days. The marriage rate is down 43% (!) since 1960. So, as I told Bob Morris of The New York Times when he asked me for a comment about weddings and marriage and straights and gays, it appears that when we do get legal same-sex marriage, we'll be looking around and saying "where did everybody go?" Not only are we not a threat to the institution of marriage, we may be the last ones propping it up. |
Babs thinks Naomi Campbell's got nice gams. 
Joy Behar 
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