Quotes & Quips

Compiled By Jack Nichols The Inappropriate Relations of an Idiot Rev. Tubby As our president might say, it all depends on what you mean by "inappropriate relations." By my definition, Jerry Falwell has had inappropriate relations with Tinky Winky, too. For an adult, inappropriate relations with the Teletubbies is watching them. It's way over the line to discuss what they do in their private lives…It's time for the sex police, gay bashers and Teletubbophobics to get a life. Carrying a purse doesn't make you gay, but being an idiot makes you an idiot. Rob Morse—San Francisco Examiner, February 11 Tinky Winky Doesn't Violate Scripture Tinky Winky is gentle, affectionate, playful, courteous and, yes, not particularly butch. In the many episodes I have seen in the company of my family's 20-month old 'Teletubbies' devotees, I have never seen him evince a special interest in Dipsy—the other male—or, indeed, do anything to violate scripture. Eric Zorn—Chicago Tribune, February 11 A Valentine for Congressman Henry Hyde Your righteous fervor gets me shiverin' Especially when your jowls start quiverin' Someone Who Cares—Valentines for Republicans cartoon, The New Yorker, February 15 Ben Affleck Wiggles Bare Butt One of those twists—which Affleck admits is a Full Monty type scene—required the star to wiggle his bare keister in front of a packed house of gay men. "I was not afraid of doing it," Affleck says. Making reference to another comic film gambit, he adds: "You've got to imagine that when Meg Ryan (In 'When Harry met Sally'…) was simulating an orgasm on a full set of extras, she probably had some reservations about it, but you can't do it half way. I went for it." Ben Affleck—In Benjamin Svetkey's "Spring Movie Preview"—Entertainment Weekly, February 12 Inscriptions for Candy Valentine Hearts I'm a man also. Get me drunk first. Be my future Ex. Be my Beard. It's probably just a rash. "MAD's Candy Hearts for Modern Lovers"—MAD magazine, February Make Love Not War We're really at an incredible point in time. You can have a front page story published about Oral sex in the newspaper, but you put a photograph of two people making love out there and you can go to jail. That says a lot about a society that condones violence and condemns sex. So I think the problem is not just the politicians, it's the country as a whole. It's got to come to grips with sexuality. Larry Flynt (center) in The People vs. Larry Flynt Larry Flint—"Checking in with Larry Flint" by Neil Strauss—Rolling Stone, February 18 Tea Room Ratings February is sweeps month, which means television stations all over the country run programming to garner higher ratings (as their advertising rates will be determined by these November numbers.) A frequent means of getting viewers is to run sensational stories on local news shows, and as evidenced in previous ratings periods, one favorite topic is "public sex." Stations may send undercover reporters with hidden cameras into bathrooms or parks in an attempt to boost their ratings. GLAAD asks that you watch your local area news for segments like this. If you know of one in advance, please attempt to tape it, so that we at GLAAD can review it. You can always report stories to us via our toll-free Alert Line, 1-800-GAY-MEDIA, or via e-mail at glaad@glaad.org. You can also use our web site's Online Alertline by pointing your browser to http://www.glaad.org. Thank you for doing your part to help fight defamation in the media. GLAADAlert The Gospel According to Who? Kids may be weak on Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, but they are all experts on Genesis, Probably because it's a rock band. "Do you know the story of Adam and Eve?" I said to one six year old girl. "Everyone knows that story," she replied. "Well, who made Adam?" "God" "And who made Eve?" "Eve was made out of a rib." "Yes, but it was a special kind of rib." "A chicken rib." The Gospel according to Colonel Sanders. Bill Cosby—"Kids Say the Darndest Things"—The Saturday Evening Post, March/April Odds: Who is Jerry Falwell's Male Jewish Anti-Christ? Michael Eisner (3-1) Producing PG porn and satanic rock and allowing 'Gay Day' at Disneyland shows where he's at. And what better way to disguise those horns than mouse ears? David Wallis—"Antichrists Among Us"—The Nation, February 15 Gary Bauer: GOP Presidential Hopeful, 2000 In the Reagan White House, aides guilty of offending the first lady could usually be found signing their own resignation letters. But in 1987, Gary Bauer, then a top policy adviser, took on Nancy Reagan--and won. Known for trotting around the White House carrying semipornographic safe-sex pamphlets, which he denounced, Bauer was perhaps Reagan's most conservative aide. He reserved special disdain for the first lady's pet project, creating a presidential commission to study AIDS. To undermine her work, he artfully slipped Mrs. Reagan the oldest trick in the Washington playbook: letting her have the commission but packing it with his fellow social conservatives. Amazingly, Bauer kept his job. Franklin Foer—"A True Believer and His Talent for Trouble"—U.S. News & World Report, February 15

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