 |
|
| Quotes & Quips
|
|
Compiled By Jack Nichols Racetrack Religion
During the last lap of the Daytona race, Mr. Earnhardt's number-3
black Chevy slammed into a concrete wall after making contact with
another driver at the head of a pack of five cars jockeying for
position. And his life was quickly terminated…I was pleased to read that
Mr. Earnhardt carried out his tradition of the past 13 years by praying with the
Rev. Max Helton prior to the race. Rev. Helton said he gathered on the track with Mr.
Earnhardt's wife, Teresa, and Richard Childress, the car's owner,
and prayed while holding Mr. Earnhardt's hand through the window of
the car…Following the crash, Rev. Helton, founder of Motor Racing Outreach,
led Teresa Earnhardt, Dale Jr. and Mr. Childress in a prayer beside
the trauma table.
Reverend Jerry Falwell—“Falwell Confidential”—February 23 Which ' Rap Artist' Do You Like?
Nancy Warren—“Queerly Irresistible?”—SF Gate, February 23 Ostensibly Heterosexual Man Constantly Threatening To Put Objects Up Coworkers' Asses IRVING, TX-- Though married and ostensibly heterosexual, Westech Data Systems office manager Douglas Briar is constantly threatening to anally penetrate male coworkers with office supplies. "Keep it up," Briar warned coworker Trent Lonegan Monday, "and I'll ram this toner cartridge up your ass." Briar has made similar threats involving staplers, three-hole punches, coffee pots, and rolls of fax paper. The Onion— www.TheOnion.com What Makes Jeb Bush Cry?
Florida Gov. Jeb Bush cried before a black Baptist group Friday as
he introduced minority staffers and appointees he said have been ridiculed
by other African-Americans for associating with him.
Florida Today—“Criticism of Black Staffers Upsets Bush”—February 24 In the Full Bloom of Spring A veteran school psychologist with a penchant for wearing nail polish and his deceased mother's scarves has filed a complaint against his bosses who want an end to the flamboyant dress…He said he's on a crusade against prejudice in the workplace…“I'm gonna dress the way I want to,” he said, “In the full bloom of spring.” Jarrett Pence—“School psychologist sues board over way he dresses”—Florida Today, February 24 Reporting on the 'Les' in Wellesley
Diana Chapman Walsh—President of Wellesley College— statement released following the publication of a Rolling Stone article titled ''The Highly Charged Erotic Life of the Wellesley Girl,'' focusing on rumors of lesbianism, sex with professors, campus police, and male cafeteria workers—Boston Globe, February 25 Targeting the World's Second Largest Drug Company Police arrested five AIDS activists who chained themselves to a conference table in the Manhattan office of GlaxoSmithKline Plc, the world's second largest drug company. Twenty-five ACT UP demonstrators burst into Glaxo's 21st floor office at 499 Park Avenue at 1:30 p.m., said Mark Milano a member of ACT UP New York. The group says the company has blocked the export of less expensive AIDS medications to South Africa and Ghana. Bloomberg News— “GlaxoSmithKline's NY Offices Targeted by ACT UP Protesters”--February 20 Ronald Reagan's Imaginary Gipper
Knute Rockne's mythic relationship with George Gipp was an
invention of the 1940 film. The reality, in Knute Rockne's case,
was that the coach of that 1920s Notre Dame team was far from
Gipp's bedside when the star player gasped his final breath. There
was, in fact, no deathbed appeal from Gipp to “win one for
the Gipper” (George Gipp never even called himself “the Gipper”
and most likely contracted pneumonia not from his exertions
on the field but after a three day drinking binge.)
Susan Faludi—“Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man”— Pages 171-172 Talking to God A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God. "God," he said, "how long is a million years?" God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute." The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?" God answered, "To me, it's a penny." The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God answered, "Sure! Just a minute." Circulated by Randolfe Wicker Global Warming on Kilimanjaro
Bob Herbert—“Rising Tides”—New York Times, February 22 |
Some may argue that musical taste, like sexual
desire, is not something easily controlled. But in an age when
corporations have such a stranglehold over which musicians are promoted
and which are not, that assertion seems at best disingenuous…
Gay Eminem fans may want to think twice about where their musical
preference is coming from.
This kind of stereotypic reporting is ... another example of the
backlash against successful female students ... I am confident that readers
of this deplorable article will recognize it for the immature and offensive
piece of reckless journalism that it is.
The easiest approach for the time being is to pretend its not
happening. It's better for the nerves in the short run to remain
rivited by the Clinton follies or the latest shenanigans on
Temptation Island, than to acknowledge that the majestic
ice cap atop Kilimanjaro, which seemed for so long to be
an almost permanent feature of the planet, will vanish in
less than 15 years.
