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| Quotes & Quips |
| Compiled By Jack Nichols
The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told
Cast out of Eden because Adam wants to explore the rest of the world, the two men learn that there was another same-sex first couple, the lesbians Jane and Mabel ... And during the Flood, the foursome finds that straights had their own Creation, too. They've been busy populating the Earth while the lesbians invented the wheel and the pulley, and Adam developed the conditioning shampoo. --Jerome Weeks—"Same Sex Spin on the Bible dizzying"—Dallas Morning News, March 16 Leaving Billy Jack Gaither's Murder Site As we drove back down the twisting dirt road, bouncing in my small car, I imagined what the trip must have felt like to Billy Jack—beaten locked in the trunk of his car. Still alive. Could he hear the slow rustle of the Peckerwood Creek, the rush of the wind in the trees? Or only the crackling of the burning tires, the sound of his own blood? --Laura Brown—"Facing the Remains of Hate"—Southern Voice, March 11 Australian Senator is like Tinky Winky
The Senator also invoked the word "queer" in his defense. He told the Senate the contemporary use of the word "queer" encompassed many variations of sexuality: "Homer J. Simpson spoke for ignorance-based homophobes everywhere when he complained about the appropriation of that word. He said, "You can't use that word. That's our word for making fun of you." --Ron Bell—"MSO Outed Me! Says Tinky Winky Senator" Melbourne Star Observer, March 19 San Francisco: Respectability is Running Rampant
Even in the middle of gay hustler heaven, respectability is running rampant.
Some of the darkest and dingiest watering holes of the 1970s and '80s are
being made over into plush meeting places for the Chivas and microbrewery
crowd.
It's the first major gay bar evolution since the onslaught of AIDS, which severely reduced the wild, anything-goes socializing of the early gay movement. Today, with people more comfortable with same-sex attraction, gay men wary of one-night stands and gay bars achieving trendy status among straight young urbanites, the saloon scene is undergoing a transformation. --Dan Levy—"Hip Upscale Attitude Sweeps San Francisco's Gay Bars"—San Francisco Chronicle, March 15 You Figure the Annual Percentage Rise The Triangle Foundation, one of metro Detroit's most vocal gay-rights advocacy groups, said Thursday that violence against Michigan homosexuals is on the rise. "We only documented two antigay murders in 1997, and six in 1998," said Sean Kosofsky, associate director of policy. "It's only March 1999, but we already have five murders we are investigating." --Lekan Oguntoyinbo—Detroit Free Press, March 15 Hooray for Maryland's Governor Paris N. Glendening!
Birth of an Avoidance Subculture There is grave concern in the (ex-gay) movement that being ex-gay is fast becoming, for many ex-gays, a subculture in itself. Ex-gays are sexually celibate but homosexuality is still central to them: Everything in their lives revolves around homosexuality and avoiding it. Listening to Exodus conference junkies and ex-program members speak, it is easy to see how this subculture is maintained. -- Justin Chin—author of MONGREL: Essays, Diatribes & Pranks—St. Martin's Press, 1999 God's 'Bargain' with Eve
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not all together bad in the sack." "Sounds great,," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first." --Paradox magazine—"To Leave You Laughing"-- April 'H' is for Hucksters? HRC had completely and wholeheartedly reproduced a ridiculous relic of 19th century electoral politics. In a hotel banquet room, an appropriately dressed, pumped for TV crowd waved printed signs and cheered one bland 3-minute speech-maker after another. An invisible game show announcer introduced each speaker. Political action as written by Ionesco. It was hucksters selling a phony product—a gay infomercial hawking acceptance of a bankrupt political system. A seemingly sincere but failed imitation of the ultimate plastic format—the national party convention. Not to mention a complete lack of the much-publicized creativity that all queers are supposed to have. Dennis Poplin—"Millennium Panic!"—GCN: The National Queer Progressive Quarterly, Vol. 23, No. 4 The Official Who Opposes Federal Funds for Needle Exchange When U.S. Drug Czar General Barry McCaffrey announced that the United States had 8.22 murders per 100,000 people in 1995 compared to 17.58 in the Netherlands, it once again displayed the General's penchant for scientific stupidity and statistical fraud. When his office was confronted with the fact that the actual Dutch murder rate is 1.8 per 100,000 people, less than a fourth that in the U.S. (the 17.58 figure is the rate for attempted murders) his spokesman James McDonough continued to claim the Dutch are 'much more violent' and that the actual Dutch murder rate shows they are simply "more inept" at murder than Americans. --Alternative Press Review: Your Guide Beyond the Mainstream—"News, Notes & Counter-Information",Vol. 3, No. 2 |
Adam and Steve from Paul Rudnick's The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told 
Sen. Bartlett 
Gov. Glendening 
© 1997-99 BEI