|
Quotes & Quips
|
Compiled By Jack Nichols Loony MooniesIn a sermon delivered in Korean and translated into English, Moon, 81, told more than 300 people that having children is the best way to serve God, more important even than the much-vaunted virtue of love…Moon's audience cheered him on, even when he ventured into controversial territory. They applauded enthusiastically when he denounced lesbianism and homosexuality and encouraged wives to bear their husbands lots of babies. He said that he has 14 children, eliciting more applause. Alice Lukens-- “Serve God by having babies, Moon urges”—Baltimore Sun, March 30 Mormon Morons Brigham Young University has suspended one male student and forced another to leave because they allegedly engaged in separate instances of homosexual conduct. Alex P. Kellogg—“ Brigham Young U. Suspends One Gay Student, Forces Another to Drop Out “ The Chronicle of Higher Education, March 30 Bye Bye, Dr. Laura "Dr. Laura” is dead …The syndicated talk show, which never caught on with viewers, taped its final edition on Thursday, Paramount confirmed. Lisa de Moraes—“ Discharge Orders for 'Dr. Laura' ”—Washington Post, March 31 Prayers in the Promise Keepers Movement Martin Booker often prayed to God for help to “get control of my weight” and “use the treadmill more often.” Jeremy Foote's appeal from week to week was the same: “As you know, Lord,” he said, a bit more irritably as the months went by, “I need help selling that time-share in Palm Springs.” One week he even specified a purchase price in his prayer, and a willingness to discount it by more than fifteen hundred dollars. Another week, when the discussion topic was “Do we have a distorted view of God?” Jeremy allowed that “We have to trust him for everything and I don't think I do, because I don't trust him to sell that time-share.” Susan Faludi— author of Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man—published by Perennial No Privacy =No Romance If I weren't the most famous lesbian in the world, no one would notice… But everyone was watching us like we were the only lesbians on the planet. That alone made being together difficult… We became such a target. Everyone had something to say about our relationship and we tried to space everything out and just work on our own problems, but that became harder and harder… Eventually, the problems became too much to bear. I thought we were going to grow old together and we'd be there for each other for the rest of our lives. Ellen DeGeneres—quoted in NOW magazine and reprinted in Rex Wockner's online column, The Wockner Wire: www.planetout.com/wocknerwire/ #138 Rear Ended with Kitty Kastro At 17, the year she started taking hormones, Kastro had a talk with her mother, with whom she was riding in the car…"I says, 'pull the car over.'… She says 'I know you're gay. I can handle it.'"…But, Kastro said, "Ma, it's a little more serious than that: I think I want to be a girl."…Her stunned mother rear-ended another car. "She started screaming, 'Why? Why do you want to be a girl?'" Torri Minton—“Not Ready For Prime Time”—about Kitty Kastro's hosting of the nation's first TV talk show for transsexuals—“Tranny Talk”--Channel 29 in San Francisco at 11:30 a.m. the third Sunday of each month. San Francisco Chronicle, March 30 U.S. Congressmen: Fraud is Funny? While testifying to the Congressional Investigations Committee on cloning and when I specifically charged that the Raelians had attempted fraud against the gay community by offering to create children combining the genes of two members of the same sex—which at this time is a scientific impossibility— I looked up and saw congressmen and congressional aides smiling, whispering to one another. I got the distinct impression that the idea of attempted fraud against the gay community simply amused them. Randolfe Wicker—after testifying in Congress in support of human cloning, March 28— in an interview with GayToday, April 1 Be Prepared: Boy Scouts Against Boy Scouts The 91-year-old Dallas-based group has been engaged in a nasty internecine war. In New York City, Boy Scout leader Michael O'Connor branded the Scouts' national board "a bunch of rednecks from Texas"; in suburban Oak Park, Ill., seven troops and packs were booted for adding nondiscrimination clauses to their charters; in Madison, Wis., Cub Scout parents adopted a statement declaring they "do not believe that the Scout oath . . . can be interpreted to mean that Scouting should discriminate." …about two dozen United Way chapters that have threatened to cut off an estimated $2 million from troops in places including Boston and Seattle. Michael Schaffer—" The Boy Scouts struggle with a ban on gays"-- U.S. News & World Report, April 9 A Fast-moving Right-wing Agenda This is the most radical administration in living American history…George W. Bush and his people are driven by right-wing ideology to an extent not remotely touched by even the Reagan administration. Anthony Lewis—“The Feeling of a Coup”—New York Times, March 31 Marie Antoinette Bush: 'Let Them Drink Arsenic' Being witty about poisoned drinking water isn't easy. It requires a certain obtuse savoir-faire…Our president gave it a go Thursday night at a press dinner here…"As you know, we're studying safe levels for arsenic in drinking water," he told the crowd of radio and TV correspondents at the Washington Hilton. "To base our decision on sound science, the scientists told us we needed to test the water glasses of about 3,000 people. Thank you for participating." I guess a guy who can yuk it up about a woman he has executed in Texas can yuk it up about anything. Maureen Dowd—“ The Asbestos President”—New York Times, April 1 |