Gay Today: Quote

Quotes & Quips

Compiled By Jack Nichols

When the Going Gets Tough-the Tough Go Shopping

The country is in a mood to sacrifice. So far, we've only been asked to splurge.

Margaret Carlson-"Capital Gang"-CNN, October 6

Penis Under Glass:

An object found in a bottled drink that police thought was a penis is actually mould. Juan Sanchez-Marchez of Colorado, noticed the 10cm cylinder in his fruit drink. A pathologist said it was a penis, but had not carried out tissue sample tests. "If you saw it, you would have believed it," a police spokesman said.

MX News --"Drink Alarm-Penis Scare"-- The Herald and Weekly Times Ltd. Southbank, Australia, October 5

The Independent Mind

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe simply because it has been handed down for many generations. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is written in Holy Scriptures. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of Teachers, elders or wise men. Believe only after careful observation and analysis, when you find that it agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all. Then accept it and live up to it.

The Buddha-"On Belief"-Kalama Sutta

The Press Conference was Divine

Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday…"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't.

The Onion-" God Angrily Clarifies Don't Kill Rule"-- September 26 www.theonion.com

Ben Franklin: Vigilance

Gentlemen, we give you a Republic; now try and keep it.

Benjamin Franklin

Thomas Paine: As if the Way of God was…

Every national church or religion has established itself by pretending some special mission from God, communicating to certain individuals. The Jews have their Moses; the Christians their Jesus Christ, their apostles and saints; and the Turks their Mahomet, as if the way to God was not open to every man alike.

Thomas Paine-"Concerning Missions and Revelations"-The Age of Reason, 1794

How to Overthrow a Weakness for Flattery

Do you wish to please a man who cannot please himself?

Murcus Aurelius

The Impotence of Being Ernest

Gregory Hemingway, whose troubled relationship with his late father, writer Ernest Hemingway, led him to a tormented life of drink and depression, has died in Miami. It was another sad chapter in the story of the literary lion's family…Mr Hemingway, 69, died of natural causes in a Miami jail after being arrested for indecent exposure. He was picked up last Wednesday after walking naked down a street in Key Biscayne, a Miami community, carrying a pair of black high heels and wearing jewellery, police said. .."He had a difficult life. It's not easy to be the son of a great man," said Scott Donaldson, president of the Hemingway Society.

The Age newspaper, Melbourne, Australia-"Death Claims another tragic Hemingway"-October 6

Kill all the Plants and Show Those Poofters

A local business owned and run by a gay couple in Newport has been vandalised in what police suspect is a homophobic attack. Last Wednesday the Hobson's Bay Nursery, owned by Peter Power and Ian Lawrence, was vandalised with perpetrators covering plants with a toxic chemical and throwing a Molotov cocktail through the window of shop.

Ross Jacobs-"Plants pay price for homophobia"-- M.C.V. (GLBT Newspaper) Melbourne Community Voice , Australia, October 5

Seeking Beauty: the Tough Route

He who does not understand how the soul contains the Beautiful within itself, seeks to realize beauty without, by laborious production.

Plotinus