Gay Today: Quote

Quotes & Quips

Compiled By Jack Nichols

Doin' the Chattahoochee Grope

Matthew Glavin, who resigned as head of the conservative anti-gay Southeastern Legal Foundation after being charged with public indecency, has pleaded guilty to charges he fondled himself and then attempted to grope a male undercover Park Ranger at the Chattahoochee River National Recreation area in Georgia.

The Front Page—“Nation”—October 27

I'm Dreaming of a Feminist Christmas

Do you know what would have happened if it had been three wise women instead of three wise men? They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, brought practical gifts and there would be Peace On Earth.

Kathy J.—in an e-mail forwarded to GayToday

Governor Jesse Ventura's Main Man

jventura1.jpg - 9.21 K Steven Bosacker, Gov. Jesse Ventura's chief of staff, pleaded guilty Monday to indecent conduct, paid a $300 fine and received a stayed 30-day sentence. He'll also seek counseling before returning to the governor's staff, his attorney said. Bosacker, 40, continued to deny allegations in a police report about the misdemeanor citation he received Oct. 31, when a police officer allegedly observed him masturbating and making sexually suggestive gestures in the men's steam room of the Target Center's Arena Club in downtown Minneapolis. Police had gone to the club after receiving a complaint of indecent behavior.

Paul McEnroe and Chris Ison—“ Ventura aide pleads guilty to indecent conduct”— Minneapolis Star Tribune, November 14

Orders from On High

Pastor Orders Christian Men to Think Only About Jesus While Masturbating

Landover Baptist Church—Headline, November 16 www.landoverbaptist.org

Ricky the 'Normal'?

I am a modern man, live a full life, do not feel any barriers inside myself…I perceive the contemporary world as an open forum, where nothing is taboo except criminal activity. If I were gay, why not admit it? ... I am a normal man. I love women and sex. I am a real hot-blooded Puerto Rican, but have never been attracted by sex with a man.

Ricky Martin—quoted in Plus 7 Days and re-quoted in The Wockner Wire #119 http://www.planetout.com/wocknerwire/

Girls will be Boys

It's hard work being a man. Just when you think you've got the braggadocio under control, the glue beneath your handlebar moustache melts under the disco lights and your nose fills up with hair.

Emma Tom—“Girls Night Out has a Hidden Gender”-- The Weekend Australian newspaper, November 18-19

India's Three-and-a-Half Million HIV Infections

It doesn't seem that India has admitted that this is a huge problem. Even if India has admitted that this is a huge problem, it doesn't seem the powers that be are making it a priority area… HIV-AIDS still seems to be a taboo subject in India. It doesn't seem there is enough dialogue here. Women and children affected by it are shunned, isolated.

Susan Sarandon—Press Conference in Bombay, November 17

Stupid Cupids: Another Marriage Declaration

Released both in Washington, where the U.S. Catholic bishops were meeting, and in Atlanta, where the NCC is holding its annual meeting, the declaration on marriage states that as "God's first institution," marriage is a lifetime commitment between one man and one woman and that such a relationship is "true to God's loving design."…While the declaration itself does not mention same-sex unions, several speakers at the news conference releasing the document denounced them as outside of "God's plan" and less beneficial to society than heterosexual marriages…Other signers of the document included the National Conference of Catholic Bishops, the Southern Baptist Convention, and the National Association of Evangelicals.

Charles Austin—“ Document on marriage strains church ties”—The Record, November 18

Alert from the American Family Association

A pro-homosexual bombshell has been fired into our children's elementary schools. It's designed to accomplish three goals: (1) Subvert our children's innocence; (2) Turn them from the beliefs and values you hold dear; and (3) Indoctrinate them with false moral teachings…Two women - Helen Cohen and Debra Chasnoff - have teamed up to produce a pro-homosexual video called "It's Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School." Aimed at our children, their message is: Don't listen to your ignorant, bigoted parents when they talk about homosexuality. Let us teach you.

It's Elementary directors Debra Chasnoff and Helen Cohen

American Family Association Online, November 18

Thanksgiving with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

Thanksgiving Day--November 23rd--Tenderloin Tessie's Thanksgiving Dinner. The Sisters will be out dishing up some Thanksgiving goodies for those in need.

Sister Dana—“SPI Calendar of Events”—Contact: sisterdana@juno.com