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| By Jesse Monteagudo
By taking part in Pride events, we assert who we, as individuals and as a people. We contribute all that is good in us to Pride Month events and in return Pride Month makes us feel good about ourselves and others like us. In short, Pride Month is a tremendous morale boost and an antidote to self-hatred and internalized heterosexism and homophobia. Unfortunately, Pride Weekends are usually followed by all-too-real and not very proud Mondays. After a month of Pride events, we must return to a world that hates us as much as it did before Pride Month began. Harsh reality always seems to follow Pride events. Pride 1986 ended with the now-infamous Bowers v. Hardwick Supreme Court decision that ratified state sodomy laws.
I admit that it is natural and essential to rest after an overly-active month of June, in order to recharge our batteries, relax and enjoy ourselves. But queer and questioning kids continue to take their own lives; gay and bisexual men continue to die from AIDS-related complications (notwith-standing protease inhibitors); queers everywhere continue to suffer from hate crimes and antigay violence; and the likes of Helms, D. James Kennedy and Fred Phelps continue to make life hard for us. Therefore, it is important that we keep the spirit of Pride alive long after Pride Month is over. Let Pride Month be not an end but a beginning. For some of us, the annual Pride events are our only contact with the rest of our community, our Family of Pride. Do not wait until next year for your next contact. Let the goals of Pride Month be your goals for life:
1. Take Pride in Yourself. Internalized homophobia is still a
part of our lives. "Ex-gay" groups prey on those of us who still accept
what straight society taught us. Do not let yourselves fall into that
trap.
Nor should you let confusion and self-hatred lead you into addictive behaviors, unsafe sex, loneliness or suicide. There are many individuals and groups that can help. 2. Come Out. If all of the lesbians, gay males, bisexuals and transgender people who "come out" for Pride Month remain out, society would surely have to notice us. Studies show that "straights" who know queer people tend to be less homophobic than those who don't. Though announcing our sexual orientation might not be right for all of us -- I wouldn't recommend it to U.S. military personnel, Roman Catholic priests or Puerto Rican pop stars - being honest with our loved ones seldom hurts and usually improves our relationships. And if the person in question turns you off because you are LesBiGay or Trans, more often than not that person is not worth relating to at all. 3. Help a Friend in Need. As the Jewish sage Hillel observed, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am for myself alone, what am I? "If not now, when?" Closely linked to taking Pride in ourselves is taking Pride in our sisters and brothers. If you know someone's who's in a life-threatening situation --whether it be AIDS, cancer, substance abuse, threatened suicide, domestic violence, homelessness or hopelessness --give them a helping hand, always remembering that they, too, have their Pride. If you don't know anyone who needs help (though I find it hard to believe that), volunteer to help at your local AIDS organization, battered women's home or homeless shelter. There is enough Pride to go around. 4. Be a Part of Your Family of Pride. It is impossible to take part in pride events without encountering a variety of community organizations. They serve a variety of purposes, not the least of which is the reassurance that we are not alone. There are literally thousands of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and AIDS-service organizations in the United States and Canada, which translate into thousands of reasons that we can be proud. Surely there are, among all those groups, one that you can call your own. By joining an organization or club, you can get involved in activities you enjoy, meet like-minded people, and help make our world a better place to live in. 5. Be a Part of the Solution. I don't have to remind you that we live in a tough world. Things are not easy for us, and things might get worse if we don't watch out. As the saying goes, if we are not part of the solution we are part of the problem. Let us make Pride work for us, by fighting for our lives and for our rights. There are a variety of activist groups that can use your political and personal energies, from those that work within the system to more aggressive, "in your face" entities. If you feel you don't have time for active involvement, then vote, write, phone or e-mail your elected officials and make a financial contribution to your local LGBT or gay-friendly organization. All of this should keep the adrenalin flowing and the Pride growing throughout the coming year. Let lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Pride be more than just a slogan. In the words of openly gay folk singer Charlie Murphy, we must "love life enough to struggle." Working together, we can make a difference. |
Marchers at last week's New York Pride Parade 
© 1997-99 BEI