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Compiled By GayToday
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania--Lesbian/queer author Victoria Brownworth, is ill and
in desperate need of help. A Pulitzer Prize nominee, for two decades her writing
has defined issues and highlighted personalities.
She is the author of Too Queer: Essays from a Radical Life and editor of Out for Blood: Tales of Mysteryand Suspense by Women, Night Bites: Vampire Stories by Women, Night Shade: Gothic Tales by Women, Out for More Blood: Tales of Malice, Retaliation, Film Fatales: Independent Women Directors (with Judith M. Redding), and Restricted Access: Lesbians on Disability (with Susan Raffo). In a signed letter, Ms. Brownsworth's friends and colleagues, Tee A. Corinne, Nikki Baker, Nancy K. Bereano and Firebrand Books, Kathleen DeBold & Barbara Johnson, Roberto Friedman, Jewell Gomez, Karla Jay, Judith Katz, Lambda Book Report, Lee Lynch, Mabel Maney, Donna J. McBride & Barbara Grier and Naiad Press, Susan Raffo, Ruthann Robson, Eric Rofes; Carol Seajay, the women of Seal Press, said of her:
Victoria Brownworth c/o Hazel McPhee 311 W. Seymour St. Philadelphia, PA 19144 An Open Letter from Victoria Brownsworth: it's so hard for me to write this. i am in so much physical and emotional pain, i don't know how i am going to get through this. suicide seems to beckon ever more strongly because it is really hard for me to see a future for myself under these circumstances. but i know that until i get myself in a less scary financial place i can't even imagine what happens next. my friends keep telling me that i have so much more to give and so forth but all i can see is this yawning abyss. so here is the information:
i have a progressive neuromuscular disease that has left me in a
wheelchair and dependent on others for basic needs such as bathing,
cooking, cleaning, laundry.
in addition my vision is periodically affected by this which makes me legally blind for long stretches. i am also seriously fatigued most of the time--muscle weakness and exhaustion. this makes work difficult. i am unable to do the long investigative magazine pieces that were both money- making and on which i built my career as a journalist because i can no longer physically go anywhere in order to do a story. and the work i can do--reviewing, columns--pay very little. for the past few years my partner of twelve and a half years has provided most of the care for me, however she has left me, suddenly and without warning. i now find myself in a desperate situation. i no longer have the necessary physical help i had from her. in addition i find myself financially destitute because she has also left me with a significant amount of debt, including a mortgage in foreclosure. though i have applied for disability, i have not yet been approved. there are no other financial services available to me in my city as welfare reform has made welfare available only to those physically able to work, which i am not. the MS society has given me a motorized wheelchair, which makes getting around downstairs in my house much easier, i cannot get out of my house easily--in fact with only three exceptions, i have only left my house to go to the hospital or doctors' appointments in the past three years. i am on a waiting list for a ramp and wheelchair lift for my house but that could take as long as two years. if i am awarded disability it is my understanding they will provide these services. in addition i must pay for health care and my medications alone run several hundred dollars a month. my level of isolation is extreme, my level of fear even greater. basically i am in danger of becoming homeless if i cannot get my bills brought up to date. i don't want to have to beg for help, and yet that is the position i find myself in. i am certain i am not the only lesbian out there who has found herself in similar circumstances. perhaps as a community we need to be directing more energy toward care for those who are not middle class and who have no other supports. how easy it is to fall on extremely hard times when one has no savings and depends entirely on what work one can do to live. certainly as we all get older this is going to happen to more and more of us. i certainly never expected to find myself disabled and then suddenly alone and penniless after many years in a stable relationship. disability is hard on both partners and sometimes people break down under the pressure--i know i have and my partner obviously also did, since the dependency had come to overwhelm her. however, despite my long-time aversion to marriage, i realize that if we had a legal marriage of twelve and a half years--or even a recognized common-law marriage as we would have had in our state if we were cohabiting heterosexual partners, i would not be in this financial state; she would be obligated to pay me the money she owes toward our mutual bills and our mortgage instead of being able to just walk away with vague promises of payment in some nebulous future. i wish i didn't have to go to the community with my very private personal pain and hardship to ask for help. it has been far easier for me over the years to give help to others rather than request it for myself, and for nearly thirty years that is the kind of activist i have been. but i have no choice. i have considered suicide frequently in recent weeks because i cannot see a way out of this situation. it is my hope that members of my community will reach out to help me through this very difficult time. |
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